Tag: maturity

Day 5 Of The Afrobloggers #WinterABC2021What Should be the Mood For Social Media?

Do not post your issues on social media”. It is childish to put your problems out there. Find a way to address them”. This is advocacy & activism week of the #winterABC2021 & we’re post to be standing up for something. Today I am standing up for those who personally & or physically have no one to talk to but social media & against those who always find amusement in shutting them down.
We have come across posts of this kind in our different Social Media. Where people are dictating on others about what to post yet I have never seen it recommended anywhere when I am opening accounts on any social media that “Thou shall only post content where thee are happy so that you can please they? Have you? If you have, please send me the screenshot, the link. I need to be woke.


Therefore, I have come to realize that we our very own selves are the ones that are fueling the depression that we keep trending around. We are the ones that keep asking where humanity is headed to yet we are the ones that keep fuelling it low key. Why are we forcing people to keep up with a lifestyle that they cannot afford? Borrowing clothes to look lit, forcing to hangout in places where they cannot afford to be. Girls sleeping for
tickets to events just to keep up appearances. Like as if there is a prize for having the flyest social media account on line.


How can someone come out seeking help and the best we can do is to tell them that it is childish to bring forth our ‘dark’ issues online. That they are best resolved off of the internet. I thought it’s called social media for a reason not please me media. How does that even work? Where are our hearts? Where is our humanity? The world is destroying itself slowly by slowly. People on suicide through depression and we’re telling people that when they post their issues they are childish? When people come out for help and we tell them that it is childish, so when are we going to help them? What is a mature person supposed to post? I need a memo. Are we even intending to help them? Are we even worthy of being friends? If you cannot help someone then shut the fuck up, scroll away and ignore. You may just as well unfriend them and keep the happy lot that are
entertaining you on your TLs.

Depression is a killer and when someone comes out depressed them you say it ain’t real.
People are out there depressed. People are out there suffering. People are out there fighting their demons and instead of bringing them closer, we are busy calling them childish? Maybe before someone friends you you should tell them to also keep it sunny.


Just because you can silently afford to handle your issues silently doesn’t mean anyone else can. Just because you have contacts that at one click away can help you out doesn’t
mean any one else does. We are not at the same point in life. We do not have the access to the same resources, cool friends and supportive families. Nope. We are different. And so by the time someone comes out for help then it is deep. Then it is real. People are
suffering. People are desperate. People are hurting. People are abused, bruised and stripped. Cheated. Betrayed. People are depressed.
We are destroying ourselves. We are destroying humanity. Discrediting it. So unless we listen and offer some help, we should just shut the fuck up and stop talking about depression any way. Are you the social media police officer in charge of happiness?
For this matter, if you are out there depressed and need someone to listen to you, you can hit me up in my DM. I may not be in position to help you financially or physically but I will listen and talk to you best way I can. I hear “You’re posting childish”. Fuck
you. Yes I am pissed so bad I am boiling. God.

Baby Steps. The First.

It’s 8:14 p.m. He’s just getting home. The streets are cold. It had drizzled. He’d braved an agonizing traffic that usually forms after. He goes up the steps to his home. Pretty bummed & looking like a suited up zombie. Lazily knocks at the door & follows it with the usual abracadabra “It’s Tut.”

The door is opened at a lightning speed. She nearly walks through him with hugs & kisses as he’s hastily led to the living room. The baby is seated on the fur carpet in the center of the well disorganized room. “It’s like there’s been a clothes’ fight in here.” He exclaims.

She tells him to just be normal & wait to be wowed. Oh. He thinks she’s going to say the baby belongs to the athletic guy who lives three blocks down the street. She
responds to his sarcastic remark with a jolly “Stop being silly” remark. They’re being themselves. It’s what lovers should be like.
As he’s there trying to liven up the moment the more, the baby does it. No. He didn’t see it. Or so he thinks. “Did I just see something unusual?” She stares with him towards the cute little thing that’s equally staring back at them with equal surprise. He turns to his Nankanmun to ask her again. It’s like he’s seen a mutant or something like that.

He then pretends he ain’t seen nothing. Just to tempt to see whether something will happen again. The baby calls out to him. “Dada.” A slow drool drops down her left chin. The minion doll falls out of her hands. She stretches to grab it while
complaining the best way she can in her baby language. If only we knew exactly what the gibberish words mean. We’re always guessing. The mom is looking unusually
cheerful at this moment.

Just as he bends to go pick it up for her, evidently confused by the unusual behavior in the house tonight, the baby puts both hands on the nearby chair leg, heaves up in a
chameleon manner & then boom, she’s off the ground & is now standing before her
dad (& already seen but still as equally surprised mom) on both feet.

You should see how her mother screamed at the moment. I won’t tell you how the daddy screamed but damn, Kia was on her feet. This time in front of both her parents…as she put her right foot forward.

In the memory of Kia who never was. I wrote this for you…hoping you’d bring this much joy. I Love You.

Winter Blogging Challenge. Winter ABC 2020. #21. Repost. Recycle. Don’t Make Her A Single Mother

A woman loved a man. She loved him hard and he played the part. Her dreams were coming true. She was going to be a wife to a loving man and then have him a couple of beautiful litluns making him a father and altogether become a beautiful family.

So when he wooed her heart, she gave to him one of her most precious assets, her sexuality. You can’t blame her because she looked at this man as the perfect candidate to make a family with. Probably because, in the course of dating, he presented that dream quite too often and seriously and so a child they got for a family she hoped they would make.

The bastard instead, was just for a joy ride so once the tot was delivered, off he ran. To the hills or the valleys, across the plains or the mountains no one knew for he disappeared faster than he came into her life. Probably to spread his horn further. A heartbroken female, he left behind. A dad less child he left behind. Abandoned.

Broken heart. Shattered dreams. Hurt emotions and literally a fatherless child with a husbandless mother. She now has to fend for not only herself but for her child too. It is like it was a mistake for her to give in herself to him. Like it was her blunder to leave every other suitor for him. Such a heartless coward.

The world has never really been a cool shade for single moms. The blame they go through for having given in to a man that couldn’t commit. The promiscuous stigmatization they are given. We tend to label them being loose. We tend to pile the blame on her and turn blind to the idiot that played with her heart. That failed to act like a man and take charge of the results from his horn. The struggle they go through finding another suitor that won’t traumatize them for what happened before. Bringing it up in every argument, the insecurities, the ignoring of the child that came with her. That it’s her responsibility and that he starts from where he came into her picture.

A single mother is like a sheep in the wilderness full of wolf packs. Like Survivor Island, she has to keep up or be left behind. She lives in denial of her reality. Having to hide the child from possible suitors thinking they will jump ship once they know that she got extra baggage. Many men will think she is loose and try to gain sexual favors from her or that she is in a constant disparate need for help (which may be true) and try to get sexual in exchange for help. That is a sad reality. Hardly will any of them try to commit. Many fear that responsibility. “How can I father a child I didn’t father?” It is sad. It hurts.

Now literary alone in the world, that is if her family didn’t ignore her too because many think it is a taboo for a woman to have a child and not live with its father. A shame to the family name and also if the father’s family doesn’t treat her any different, she now has to fend for school fees so that the baby gets an education, medical care, housing, food, clothes, belonging and identity and all this while the father, the husband that was supposed to be is out there sexing other women. Probably they also know that he absconded from his parental responsibilities somewhere but what the heck, he said he loves me too so let the sista find a way to survive with her kid am moving on with the man now.

Dear player, if at all you don’t have plans of making that woman your wife then don’t make her a mother for nothing. Withdraw, wear a condom or don’t sex her at all and if at all you aren’t ready to take care of a woman and her child then stay away from single mothers. It is that simple. It is not a life she called for.

To the families that are raising the boy child, please teach that boy before he thinks he is now a man that women ought to be respected, honored, cherished, protected and loved. That sex is not everything and once they take on the sex activities, they must be ready for the consequences that come after. That live sex doesn’t give birth to a TV, car or anything but a baby and it is that child, their own seed that they’re going to subject a lot of mental torture to the moment they decide to close the door on them.

 Just as well, dear woman, not everything male that says it loves you really does so you do not have to open your legs for them without protection just because they said they love you. Let that niga take his time dating you if need bes while in that moment you’re looking out for the father figure in him. There are always red flags to look out for and yes, some things are actually worth the wait if you’re committed to looking out for the best.

Why Would You Even Hate Social Media PDA?

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It is always a good moment of love to me. Seeing that there are people celebrating love despite all this chaos going on around us. Today, browsing through my news feeds, I am loving watching couples post away, deep in love. Eating out, having a great outdoors, hanging with friends, movies, goofing or geeking around. Those mirror selfies. It is always romantic & lovely to me seeing couples walking into shops, restaurants, malls or on the streets loving themselves. Eavesdropping on some of their conversations as they are talking love to each other gives peace to my soul.

Ignoring the wars, pandemics, slave trade, coups & all the noise, that there are some people who are enjoying their moment without caring of the level of PDA they are exhibiting.

But then there is the dark side of those who always hate on it. Who fail to ask themselves or lay down the criteria of what pictures one ought to post. There’s no award ever given for the posts that you share that they’re the best. Unless of course if you’re running for some photographers award competition. If you do not want to share love with your partner then that’s your problem. Let those who want to do so do it. If you’re not happy of them at least that’s you. There’s always those that will be happy of theirs. If you don’t want people to post of their lovers, what do you want them to post? The toilet?

If you snatched your partner from someone else & you fear the back clash, sorry. If they’re ugly A.F, sorry. If your family isn’t happy of your choice, sorry. If you’re an introvert about such stuff, sorry.
Let those that are not make the noise. We should always have a reason to celebrate & love is always up there on the list. You feel at liberty to post soccer updates, inspiration posts or awkward filtered pictures so why be hateful of those celebrating their love online? It’s a free world & love is the greatest thing to happen to man. Let’s celebrate it when we can.

Even though sometimes eternity cannot be guaranteed in our love lives but by the fact that at that moment it exists, let’s be free to celebrate it. Even in the open.

What A Girl Should Know.

Someone one day stated that “Every girl is a gold digger but the degree varies & it’s
dependent on how deep she feels you.” Well, that no longer makes the front page as it has become an everyday occurrence. At least every guy has experienced it in any one
of his relationships & some (guys) would testify that it was the incessant demands of the girl that broke the relationship while some (girls) would claim that they can’t put up with a financially unstable guy.


So our dear women keep crying for Women Emancipation saying how tired they’re of being kept in the shadows, trying to prove that they too can work as equally well & at times far more better than men in so many aspects of life, financial independence
inclusive but most of those who advocate for that are still the very ones who sit back & wait for the guy to take them out & do the bills & so many other things they call gentlemanly. What I’ve failed to understand is whether women emancipation doctrines refuse women to look after their men especially in financial matters but to
still offer themselves up for comfort sex once a deed has been done to them. This has
actually further upgraded your level of slavery in a way that those who still wait for the man to play the gentleman part have ended up having nothing but being
unknowingly miserable lots.

But why has it got to be like that? Where so many dames believe that a guy’s assets
are her entitlements? I thought that in a relationship, we’re all concerned for its survival so we’re entitled to pool resources together & sustain it. It has become rare for her to take you out, pimp you up or show any sign of financial /material support
yet she expects you to foot everything like as if she wasn’t living before your entree into her broke life. Like she doesn’t realize that all that money she requests you to take her out with or buy her something can be used to pay rent, start a business, or build a house & what happened to her family & relatives?


Thought they should be concerned too. Or they don’t get inspired by a few girls they see earning their grind & tipping off their guys? Some don’t realize that it’s some form of slavery where the guy can take advantage of her poor economic status to enslave her in the relationship while he goes to get some better ish from another dame …because he knows you have no way out but to beg for whatever he’ll donate to you.


We as guys know it’s our responsibility to spend on our girls but it’s not constituted anywhere that they should sit back on their loins waiting for when we’d earn so that they could eat. They should also play their part. If she liked the guy because he had a fair skin, cool shirts or kicks, then when she notices them going wrong at a point in time, she could dig into her pocket, pull out a note & say,” Honey, here’s some mulla.
You could go buy yourself another cool pair.” That wouldn’t hurt I suppose because you’re investing in your relationship. To cut the long rant short, here’s a statement to think about; ‘MUCH AS IT’S DEADLY FOR A BROKE GUY TO DATE, IT’S
EQUALLY SUICIDAL TO DATE A BROKE GIRL “……