Tag: #inspiration

Day Six of The Afrobloggers #Winterabc2021. Body-Shaming & Stereotyping

Day 6 here and I about the body-shaming character of our society.

She was a young, small, beautiful girl. Very happy in her petit form. Everyone called her a model. She flaunted and celebrated life in her slimness. To the nursery school, she went, fat people were bullied. All sorts of names were thrown at them. Pigs, gluttons, fatso et al. the clothes were even cheap and easy to find by her mother. She was the flower girl and maid to so many events. She played an angel in her school plays.

But then she joined a mixed high school and the scale tilted. The boys in her school had differing tastes. Some fancied those abundantly endowed at certain parts of their bodies and those that are her size. Slim. What they called figure one. The former, figure eight, hour glass and so forth. It was so many a guy’s dream, to have the flyiest girl in school. The one with the biggest assets or the most curling curves. A many African guy’s definition of a sexy woman and many a time associated with being gashing or squirty. If you know what I mean. Competition to be noticed was always stiff. Your beauty, attitude and skills had to stand for you. Your body, that one automatically spoke for itself.

From high school, she went to higher institutions of learning which is just as well the entrance to adulthood and it just got worse. From girls in her class to adverts and social media, the girls with curves were always celebrated. They got the most whistlers from men in the club, on the streets, even lecturers themselves. Girls in so many music videos were those with the body, the lyrics glorified them. It felt like abandonment. Everywhere, they were given the first choices. And because they were the target of most men, they were the ones with the coolest clothes, latest phones and trends.

The body shape field had tilted immensely now. Her skinniness was now being questioned. It was at worst moments attributed to strange diseases. Stereotypes always came up. That small girls had HIV/AIDS, were sicklers and many others while the big girls were always thought to be healthy. That, “how one could be having a disease yet still maintain that look? Shaa. Impossible” and the guys went in. It was devastating.

And then came the money makers. The business men who had seen this trend and brought on to the market creams, body pads, operations and pills for women to enhance their bodies did not help the matter in any way. In fact, they made it worse. The field turned desperate. Many more and more females went for these and soon, the smallest of the girls were getting bigger and were reaping the ‘benefits’. More men and sexual advances with the offers they brought with the demands. The bonuses that came with having booty changed a lot of a girl’s life.

The small ones felt left out. Those who could not afford these felt the world had turned against them. The big booty girls were running the show. With the way they flaunted their curves, the way they dressed, the way they slayed it on social media and the media offers they got to feature in so many media ads. The men adored them, they worshiped the booty. Those who held influence in offices had places offered to the juicy ones. It was that bad. The field could no longer accommodate the small ones. It was a social annihilation. And then the white man has made Samantha the sex doll and it is the same noticeable thing about it. The booty is voluptuous.

But I only wish they knew that not all men are after the booty but the beauty. Maybe the inner beauty and that actually everyone has someone who loves them the way they are. I hope our society corrects that. Everyone deserves to be loved the way they appear. Men should also know this.

Day 5 Of The Afrobloggers #WinterABC2021What Should be the Mood For Social Media?

Do not post your issues on social media”. It is childish to put your problems out there. Find a way to address them”. This is advocacy & activism week of the #winterABC2021 & we’re post to be standing up for something. Today I am standing up for those who personally & or physically have no one to talk to but social media & against those who always find amusement in shutting them down.
We have come across posts of this kind in our different Social Media. Where people are dictating on others about what to post yet I have never seen it recommended anywhere when I am opening accounts on any social media that “Thou shall only post content where thee are happy so that you can please they? Have you? If you have, please send me the screenshot, the link. I need to be woke.


Therefore, I have come to realize that we our very own selves are the ones that are fueling the depression that we keep trending around. We are the ones that keep asking where humanity is headed to yet we are the ones that keep fuelling it low key. Why are we forcing people to keep up with a lifestyle that they cannot afford? Borrowing clothes to look lit, forcing to hangout in places where they cannot afford to be. Girls sleeping for
tickets to events just to keep up appearances. Like as if there is a prize for having the flyest social media account on line.


How can someone come out seeking help and the best we can do is to tell them that it is childish to bring forth our ‘dark’ issues online. That they are best resolved off of the internet. I thought it’s called social media for a reason not please me media. How does that even work? Where are our hearts? Where is our humanity? The world is destroying itself slowly by slowly. People on suicide through depression and we’re telling people that when they post their issues they are childish? When people come out for help and we tell them that it is childish, so when are we going to help them? What is a mature person supposed to post? I need a memo. Are we even intending to help them? Are we even worthy of being friends? If you cannot help someone then shut the fuck up, scroll away and ignore. You may just as well unfriend them and keep the happy lot that are
entertaining you on your TLs.

Depression is a killer and when someone comes out depressed them you say it ain’t real.
People are out there depressed. People are out there suffering. People are out there fighting their demons and instead of bringing them closer, we are busy calling them childish? Maybe before someone friends you you should tell them to also keep it sunny.


Just because you can silently afford to handle your issues silently doesn’t mean anyone else can. Just because you have contacts that at one click away can help you out doesn’t
mean any one else does. We are not at the same point in life. We do not have the access to the same resources, cool friends and supportive families. Nope. We are different. And so by the time someone comes out for help then it is deep. Then it is real. People are
suffering. People are desperate. People are hurting. People are abused, bruised and stripped. Cheated. Betrayed. People are depressed.
We are destroying ourselves. We are destroying humanity. Discrediting it. So unless we listen and offer some help, we should just shut the fuck up and stop talking about depression any way. Are you the social media police officer in charge of happiness?
For this matter, if you are out there depressed and need someone to listen to you, you can hit me up in my DM. I may not be in position to help you financially or physically but I will listen and talk to you best way I can. I hear “You’re posting childish”. Fuck
you. Yes I am pissed so bad I am boiling. God.

Day Two of The Afrobloggers #Winterabc2021

Why a creative needs to participate in such challenges.

Well, welcome to day two of the #WinterABC2021. Day one went superbly well I must admit. Many salutations to those that decided to take part.

As we’re still about the creatives’, welcome to day two. Hope you love this one too. A creative artist is one who expresses their feelings, ideas, talents, or gifts for either entertainment, education, or as a form of influencing social change. (My definition) This can be a dancer, vlogger, podcaster, painter, a writer belonging to so many of the numerous forms under it (I am mainly a relationships’ blogger), an activist, etc. as it is quite the norm these days than ever before.

It takes a creative, only to know how crazy and intricate this field is. It’s highly competitive and changes too fast that one slip and someone else has taken your spot therefore it may need one to work double-time to stay on top. One of these double-time efforts is taking part in activities like the Afrobloggers Winter ABC and below is why you damn right should.

  • It helps you maintain consistency. Like I said in the opening, a creative needs to be consistent. You need to get into the habit of establishing a consistent routine. Something that your followers will keep track of you about because we definitely need a following. Consistency will bring perfection and perfection will bring exposure which in turn will bring you deals (gigs) and then voila, you’ll see yourself earning from your trade.
  • Networking: No man is an island. You need those connections buddy if you are to survive through these streets. the winterABC challenge is one good avenue to make those important connections because it not only exposes you to your local bloggers but to the international world as well. These will be the kind of people who will recommend you to other people, who will collaborate with you or offer you other great niceties that may come along the way. never ever forget that one of the ways of building these networks is by following other people’s works, reading, sharing, commenting and replying to them because people only ride with those that ride with them.
  • Self-development (writing and reading): Writing and reading especially every day is hard. That’s why they’re called skills and skills don’t come easy. Participating in challenges like this would definitely help you polish these skills. The challenge you’ll get after reading what other people have put up will push you back into your hole and try to make yours come out better. That’s where the magic comes in. From such healthy competitions because now you’re on a bigger level where you have to level up.

just s well, it helps you with thinking fast. Coming up with different posts every day for a full month is not easy. Your desire to be consistent will be exhibited in how fast you think because you wouldn’t want to be caught behind time. The panic induced disappointment.

  • Exposure: This isn’t your local street challenge. The winter ABC is an international challenge that exposes your works (and site) to readers and fellow creatives even outside Africa. The exposure you can get out of this is good enough to give your site ratings, stats and growth and these are numbers that can get you gigs and whatever else you may be looking for.
  • Helps you learn about other fields in the game: This works through the different topics we’re given. As mainly a relationships’ writer, I am looking at the weeks where I’ll be talking about advocacy, business, fashion etc. and that will be a changer in my game. Reading what others will have written will be an eye opener into those other fields. Who knows, maybe you may find your creative juices belong there or it may be so good that you may find yourself expanding your creative arsenal and boy does being knowledgeable pay off.

And with those few pointers, if you are reading this and are still contemplating on whether to join in or not, I hope I have managed to inspire you. Now open up that blank page and write away, we at the Afrobloggers family will be around to help you push for the better. See you in my newsfeed soon. Peace.

Credit goes to Lebogang of sanctuary of greatness for her day one piece here inspired me to come up with my day two-piece. See, that’s one of the importance of reading. the inspiration from others.

Of Inspirational Speakers’ Dilemma

Has someone ever spoken to you so real you feel like they have been reading the guide of your life first hand? When every word they are speaking pierces you to the core? Usually, it is so deep by the time the encounter is over, you just don’t want to see them ever! A common occurrence for inspiration speakers & that is why people don’t like them. Let me put myself into the same boat, they don’t like us.

It is because most of us are control freaks. Many of us like to always have our will be done. Wired to think that our issues & personal experiences are the best things to draw messages from without taking into consideration that the other person on the receiving end also has their life experiences that might just as well be more grievous than ours have been.


Most people when giving advice don’t let the other to talk. It’s usually because they have issues with being challenged by someone they feel is inferior. The moment the other person starts speaking then they label them being rebellious, poor listeners, self-defenders & such yet the best way to communicate & have your message delivered is to allow a two-way discussion. Sometimes even if as an inspiration speaker you may be right, you have to listen to what the other person has to say instead of calling them names. Since it’s their life that you’re tackling then it is best you listen to what they have to say. Their argument may just as well be the link you need to solve the riddle.


We, Inspiration speakers, should also know that we’re not always right & people are not entitled to live their lives the way the inspirers want nor is it a sure deal that the ideas we have will also work on the other person because people are unique. What works for you may not work for the other.


You’re an inspirer who has a job that earns you like a million on which you can save about two hundred thousand shillings a month & you’re telling someone who earns about four hundred thousand shillings to also save about two hundred thousand shillings. Who are you kidding?


There’s also the mistake made that people think that what inspires them should also be inspire the others. People have different views, hustles, stuff to deal with that may not necessarily role with the kind of people you look up to. It’s best an inspirer understands what this person is going through & then looks for a person who was in that very situation & uses their example to inspire this person. Or maybe someone who did something that got them somewhere & sure this person too can relate.


Then there are those who are just too boring & aggressive. 1, 2 into the jazz & they’re already throwing inspiration vibes around. It gets boring & common. There’s a lot of things to talk about other than discussing someone’s life & looking into what they’re doing wrong. Sometimes we just have to let people mess up a bit so that they learn from it. I know it sounds kinda evil, right?


We must all learn to respect the fact that we all get inspired by different things. If you’re inspired by Bill Gates another person is inspired by Ronaldo or Beyoncé etc. It’s their life & that’s what keeps them going as long as they are not breaking the law. But you find an inspirer seriously rebuking the other over what they like & believe in. Over what one reads, listens to, does on social media & watches on TV just because it is not in not in line with what the inspirer believes in.


I must say the responsibility of being an inspiration speaker is not easy but forcing someone to get inspired is not the best approach. Sometimes it takes time & getting angry when challenged & such doesn’t get the message delivered. People are unique & until you get that, you’ll see people running away from you every time you start throwing your inspiration vibes around.


Sometimes though we might be the help someone needs, we’re not fully 100% the right Messiahs in everyone’s lives.