Tag: heartbreak

Day 5 Of The Afrobloggers #WinterABC2021What Should be the Mood For Social Media?

Do not post your issues on social media”. It is childish to put your problems out there. Find a way to address them”. This is advocacy & activism week of the #winterABC2021 & we’re post to be standing up for something. Today I am standing up for those who personally & or physically have no one to talk to but social media & against those who always find amusement in shutting them down.
We have come across posts of this kind in our different Social Media. Where people are dictating on others about what to post yet I have never seen it recommended anywhere when I am opening accounts on any social media that “Thou shall only post content where thee are happy so that you can please they? Have you? If you have, please send me the screenshot, the link. I need to be woke.


Therefore, I have come to realize that we our very own selves are the ones that are fueling the depression that we keep trending around. We are the ones that keep asking where humanity is headed to yet we are the ones that keep fuelling it low key. Why are we forcing people to keep up with a lifestyle that they cannot afford? Borrowing clothes to look lit, forcing to hangout in places where they cannot afford to be. Girls sleeping for
tickets to events just to keep up appearances. Like as if there is a prize for having the flyest social media account on line.


How can someone come out seeking help and the best we can do is to tell them that it is childish to bring forth our ‘dark’ issues online. That they are best resolved off of the internet. I thought it’s called social media for a reason not please me media. How does that even work? Where are our hearts? Where is our humanity? The world is destroying itself slowly by slowly. People on suicide through depression and we’re telling people that when they post their issues they are childish? When people come out for help and we tell them that it is childish, so when are we going to help them? What is a mature person supposed to post? I need a memo. Are we even intending to help them? Are we even worthy of being friends? If you cannot help someone then shut the fuck up, scroll away and ignore. You may just as well unfriend them and keep the happy lot that are
entertaining you on your TLs.

Depression is a killer and when someone comes out depressed them you say it ain’t real.
People are out there depressed. People are out there suffering. People are out there fighting their demons and instead of bringing them closer, we are busy calling them childish? Maybe before someone friends you you should tell them to also keep it sunny.


Just because you can silently afford to handle your issues silently doesn’t mean anyone else can. Just because you have contacts that at one click away can help you out doesn’t
mean any one else does. We are not at the same point in life. We do not have the access to the same resources, cool friends and supportive families. Nope. We are different. And so by the time someone comes out for help then it is deep. Then it is real. People are
suffering. People are desperate. People are hurting. People are abused, bruised and stripped. Cheated. Betrayed. People are depressed.
We are destroying ourselves. We are destroying humanity. Discrediting it. So unless we listen and offer some help, we should just shut the fuck up and stop talking about depression any way. Are you the social media police officer in charge of happiness?
For this matter, if you are out there depressed and need someone to listen to you, you can hit me up in my DM. I may not be in position to help you financially or physically but I will listen and talk to you best way I can. I hear “You’re posting childish”. Fuck
you. Yes I am pissed so bad I am boiling. God.

Blessings Of Loving A Broken One.

From collaborative words driven by Benjamin Watch & a feature of the beautiful Louisa…Imagine drinking from broken glass or eating from a broken plate, if it were to happen successfully then it would need a certain amount of care……………So long as she loves in her own way, and accepts to be loved at her own pace of a broken soul I don’t care if she doesn’t want an official marriage or even the prospect of kids, I am fine with her. Broken things are not for an imperfect man to fix. Love can fit and come out from any sort of crack. We are all broken in some form.

If you have been to Benjamin WATCH Blog before you can figure out which exact blog post the words or portion I and my two friends are building on. No, I will not be providing the link to the piece. When I put out a tweet asking for someone to work with on this post, Louisa from Malawi and ‘I Marvin’ from Uganda honored the call. So here we go on the positives for loving broken souls.

“We are all broken”, they say in some aspect. But that is more of a coating that can come off as an insult to someone who has really been broken by the past. The world is an ugly place that anything can break people, from careers to romantic love to family backgrounds. Imagine telling a lady or gentleman who was sexually assaulted in the past by those they loved that we are all broken. It would be cold of you. Broken people are seen to be unsteady and unreliable especially when it comes to relationships in their lives. Being in their lives seems draining and it really is but it can have a side to it, and it does.

Broken people live in pieces and bits that may never come together again but that is one of their many refinements. They can effortlessly share themselves with you if you try so hard to get close to them. The fact that they give love a chance after going through whatever broke them is a testament that they have enormous love deep in them, it is as though they don’t fear love. They sometimes “over-over” since their care for those that take interest in their flaws is beyond normal.


Broken people are the nicest beings at living in the moment and they make the moment wonderful since they know they are volcanoes with not much time. The way they love if they are to is special, they love the heaviest and are precious at it. They can be sunshine on a rainy day. Broken people know what it means to love since they have been hurt in the past.

If you want to feel like or even be a superhero, love a broken soul, the adventure of handling a time bomb in a person can be a thrill. An extreme sport of a kind. They will bring out the best in us because we are careful not to incite the demon in them. Sometimes it’s beautiful to when you wait on a broken soul to start loving you back because they take forever to.

The most important thing you need is Patience. Patience is what makes you understand them, and gives you hope that they will come around. Most will have the Wall of China built around their heart, to protect them from the evil outside. Instead of acting like a tourist, be a wall guard. Be there to guard their hearts just like they do it.

See, there is something beautiful in broken. The most beautiful of vases are those that broke and the pieces were glued back together. A tale of hope and restoration, a desire to hold on. Like glue. The scars show strength to hold it together. And though they will push you back, and make it seem like you are the reason they are broken; know that deep inside, they are fighting with themselves over the emotions they feel. The desire to be free from the broken past and a taste of freedom to give love and be loved back in equal or even more measures. To be able to live life and create new memories with someone that won’t mind the scars on them but sees the special in them all over again. A silver lining on the horizon.

It’s your role to show them this positivity and to assure them that all will be well. Be their knight in shining armor that they been waiting for. To the last drop be there, be patient, be loving.


Louisa is a Malawian poet, art lover & blogger. You can Follow her journey, thoughts and craziness through her blog posts. https://thelouisamsiska.com/
Find her work here


Benjamin is from Uganda & he’s constantly ‘Questioning the question.’ A very spirited promoter of creative creators across this rock we inhabit called Africa. He’s intuitive work can be found here https://musanjufukavubu.wordpress.com/

I must admit I was excited to do a writing collab this year & this opportunity was totally amazing. Please do check out the links provided for these people have amazing works that will keep you thirsting for more.

Winter Blogging Challenge. Winter ABC 2020. #21. Repost. Recycle. Don’t Make Her A Single Mother

A woman loved a man. She loved him hard and he played the part. Her dreams were coming true. She was going to be a wife to a loving man and then have him a couple of beautiful litluns making him a father and altogether become a beautiful family.

So when he wooed her heart, she gave to him one of her most precious assets, her sexuality. You can’t blame her because she looked at this man as the perfect candidate to make a family with. Probably because, in the course of dating, he presented that dream quite too often and seriously and so a child they got for a family she hoped they would make.

The bastard instead, was just for a joy ride so once the tot was delivered, off he ran. To the hills or the valleys, across the plains or the mountains no one knew for he disappeared faster than he came into her life. Probably to spread his horn further. A heartbroken female, he left behind. A dad less child he left behind. Abandoned.

Broken heart. Shattered dreams. Hurt emotions and literally a fatherless child with a husbandless mother. She now has to fend for not only herself but for her child too. It is like it was a mistake for her to give in herself to him. Like it was her blunder to leave every other suitor for him. Such a heartless coward.

The world has never really been a cool shade for single moms. The blame they go through for having given in to a man that couldn’t commit. The promiscuous stigmatization they are given. We tend to label them being loose. We tend to pile the blame on her and turn blind to the idiot that played with her heart. That failed to act like a man and take charge of the results from his horn. The struggle they go through finding another suitor that won’t traumatize them for what happened before. Bringing it up in every argument, the insecurities, the ignoring of the child that came with her. That it’s her responsibility and that he starts from where he came into her picture.

A single mother is like a sheep in the wilderness full of wolf packs. Like Survivor Island, she has to keep up or be left behind. She lives in denial of her reality. Having to hide the child from possible suitors thinking they will jump ship once they know that she got extra baggage. Many men will think she is loose and try to gain sexual favors from her or that she is in a constant disparate need for help (which may be true) and try to get sexual in exchange for help. That is a sad reality. Hardly will any of them try to commit. Many fear that responsibility. “How can I father a child I didn’t father?” It is sad. It hurts.

Now literary alone in the world, that is if her family didn’t ignore her too because many think it is a taboo for a woman to have a child and not live with its father. A shame to the family name and also if the father’s family doesn’t treat her any different, she now has to fend for school fees so that the baby gets an education, medical care, housing, food, clothes, belonging and identity and all this while the father, the husband that was supposed to be is out there sexing other women. Probably they also know that he absconded from his parental responsibilities somewhere but what the heck, he said he loves me too so let the sista find a way to survive with her kid am moving on with the man now.

Dear player, if at all you don’t have plans of making that woman your wife then don’t make her a mother for nothing. Withdraw, wear a condom or don’t sex her at all and if at all you aren’t ready to take care of a woman and her child then stay away from single mothers. It is that simple. It is not a life she called for.

To the families that are raising the boy child, please teach that boy before he thinks he is now a man that women ought to be respected, honored, cherished, protected and loved. That sex is not everything and once they take on the sex activities, they must be ready for the consequences that come after. That live sex doesn’t give birth to a TV, car or anything but a baby and it is that child, their own seed that they’re going to subject a lot of mental torture to the moment they decide to close the door on them.

 Just as well, dear woman, not everything male that says it loves you really does so you do not have to open your legs for them without protection just because they said they love you. Let that niga take his time dating you if need bes while in that moment you’re looking out for the father figure in him. There are always red flags to look out for and yes, some things are actually worth the wait if you’re committed to looking out for the best.

Winter Blogging Challenge. Winter ABC 2020 #15 An Issue That’s So Close To My Heart.

Fall In Love Using Your Head As Much As Your Heart.

Ever since I started writing, it’s been mainly about relationships. The things that have affected my love
life whether good or bad & also about others. Those I’ve read about, heard or had an opportunity to talk to. Giving advice on how to love & live right hoping something else out there might pick something to learn from it & sure thing many have.
My biggest fear in a relationship is being unable to make my person happy to an extent of loving me the
same way I love them. In equal measure, I really upsets me hearing that someone gave their all into a
relationship but instead of the other person returning the same, they instead played them.
It double hurts me when the person ignored the red flags, went against all warnings & everything that screamed danger about the person they were trusting & gave themselves in. Sometimes it gets so bad when they’re left with permanent scars.

Basing on a recent social media storm in Uganda where a prominent media personality got the shock of
her life when she found out that the man she got married to wasn’t a doctor as he’d made her believe but
instead was a security guard in the Middle East. He had manipulated her so well by creating fake s. media accounts where he faked stories of her fellow workers shooting shots at him & she fell for them & went into fights with many of her friends thinking they were true.

I’ve always emphasized that people should always involve their brains as much as their emotions when
falling in love naye wa, people still go for that love is blind bullshit because on a serious note, how can you say you’re in a relationship with someone & they successfully dupe you into thinking they’re working
somewhere yet it’s a lie for years?

Like, don’t you people ever talk about your professional life as a couple? Catching up after work & talk about how your day was & all that office drama? Don’t you know any of your partner’s workmates, no work place photos, ID? Nothing? How? What kinda couple are you? What sort of relationship is that?
Why allow your emotions to blind your thinking? I know it’s very important to be emotional about one’s
relationship but as long as you start feeling something for someone, let your brain have a fair share in
determining whether this person is best to move in with or not because the heart is most definitely going to say yes, blindly, but the brain should be the one to make that final conclusion after carrying out all the
necessary background checks about the person you’re dating with.

You may even find that someone might have warned her about dating this guy & she thought they’re bad
mind people trying to hate on her new found love. My anger is also sponsored by my ex who did the same mistake. God bless her soul.

We Should Learn To Forgive…And Let Go.

We should learn to forgive. Forgetting may be hard but at least forgiving may be lenient thus we can try. Some people may repeatedly hurt us, do things that push against the wall or fail to change their ways for the better but we can try to forgive them. We can try to be that human.
It is one of the only ways we can show that we’re God’s people as we claim to be.

It’s only human. But they too should know the vitalness of the need for them to change & create an atmosphere that warrants them to be forgiven.

Forgiving, especially if the betrayal comes from someone you really had deep attachment to & had created deep memories with is hard to come to terms with but sometimes, sometimes, you may have to try ignoring what was. Push it to the back.

It may not come overnight & just trying to forget what was is itself painful enough but we can only try.

Occasionally, the pain may come back. Maybe through people talking to you about it, the photos, music, movies, hangout joints etc. will be there but we can try.
It’s all I can say & as well add on what the Bible says that “Judge not & you will not be
judged, condemn not & you will not be condemned, forgive & you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37.

There’s a lot of love needed in this world & forgiving may be one way to help heal
those wounds.