Tag: #FOMO

Personal Relationships & The Public

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They have always advised that it is more better we keep our intimate relationships away from the public (These days, social media) because truth be told, not everyone is going to be happy about you too together and in the event that it hits some snags, there are some that are going to make the situation as dramatic as a telenovela. That is humanity. That is life. You would be saved from looking like a love failure. A life lesson for many and you’ll miss out on the peace that comes with silent relationship breakups.

But let me tell you, a relationship where people do not come up & tell you how good you are together is boring. It’s less charming. Once in a while we need to hear external minds about our relationships & from there we may learn a thing or two.

Sometimes we know less of the people who say they love us than the public or the people outside of our relationship. People that have been with them longer than we have & usually take some of their thoughts lightly until we are way in too deep a wrong relationship.

Much as we love our partners for our own selves (obviously), public interest is also very important. That’s why you’ll always find fun talking about your spouse to someone who cares to listen & usually seek advice the same way where necessary. Take relationship counsellors for example. There will always be that pride. Seeing the adoration on other people’s faces when you are talking about bae is priceless. Hearing them say how they wish theirs was like yours is unmatchable.

If your partner always endeavors to keep your relationship out of the public, including family then you’re in a tricky situation. They may be either protecting you from the haters or they’re hiding you from those that know their dark secrets.

However, you shouldn’t reveal all because this might give people who want to take you down a chance to know how to do it. Every relationship has its cracks and some people are too good or always out there looking for those cracks. The moment they land on them, the effect may be much bigger than the tsunami.

Live Within Your Means

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So, here’s the thing. You can’t be living the lit life on social media. Attending the craziest events & hanging out at the poshest joints & you expect people to think you’re broke? Why should they? It’s visually obvious you’re sending out the message that you made it in life. I mean, you’re attending events that many out there are wishing to attend but can’t afford to. What else do you want people to perceive of that?

With this illustrated lifestyle, everything about you is expected to be fast lane, boss. Rick Ross. Including accommodation. With the life you’re flaunting out there, we then expect that you probably crash at some posh villa with inbuilt facilities, Wi-Fi, poolside, inside bar or something. I mean, if you can afford to hang out lavishly then you can definitely afford to live in a well suited house. Mansion.

Where I am driving my point to is about a Ugandan social media frenzy about this lady who was put in a daily paper by her landlord for failure to pay rent amounting to about four million Uganda shillings. I posted something about it & someone asked me whether I knew her for me to judge & I actually don’t. It is too bad the landlord went as hard as putting her up in the papers. Insane it is but crazier are the guys who wanted to organize a car wash to help raise her rent. Seriously! These are the things that are moving us now? And then we blame the government for spending money on things like the three wheeled motorcycles? LOL. But why? Those things are a joke.

I would say, people have failed to grasp the basic knowledge of spending money/ resources & by our utter ignorance we’re seemingly ready to support it. By organizing a car wash fundraiser for an apparent slay queen who failed to raise rent but can afford expensive weaves & outings.

For starters, people should learn to live within their means. If you have a job that pays you a basic 500k for example then why stay in a house that charges about 400k? How are you going to survive on the remaining 100k for a full month unless if you get free lunch & supper at your work place & it pays your power, water bills plus facilitating your transportation? Is that why some girls open brackets to survive? How are you going to save for future projects if your dream is to get wealthy legally & morally off your sweat & yet it’s some of these virtues that you’re clearly not in line with? If you’re one whose source of income is not big enough to support your lifestyle, I’d suggest you get a basic house in a basic area, keep friends that you’re able to run to in case life is not smiling your way. People you can confide in when you’re troubled & they can offer you help. Usually the people in your phone-book/ social circle are an indication of who you’re as a person. If you don’t have people who can bail you out when life is throwing Muhammad Ali punches at you then you may definitely be in need of a new set of friends.

Sometimes we do the mistake of feeding our wants & not our needs. Of following a lot of that which glitters thinking it’s all gold. Of trying so much to keep appearances instead of focusing on personal development & inner peace. Of thinking with our eyes & not the brain. Shallow. Someone told me not to judge but naturally, humans will judge first on how you appear or what image you decide to show.

Part of my anger comes from an interaction I had with someone of quite a similar type. She’s this girl who is always uploading twerking videos in groupie moments at posh joints. Her belly out, skirt short, beer glass in one hand, voice high, crop top & ass to the camera or dubbing her girls. She in boxed me one time after I don’t know how many years and without even settling into knowing how our lives have been since we last met in 2014 which should be common courtesy, she was asking me for money for some campus issue. This is someone I think finished campus about 3 years ago & when I told her I couldn’t help her, the conversation proceeded not any further. A few days later, she was at the morally controversial Nyege Nyege Festival. I was vexed.  Even if your argument may be that she might have saved for the festival, wouldn’t it seem more logical if she instead used that money to cater for her education needs than a senseless festival? Like as if it’s the festival that’s going to get her a job (unless of course if she sleeps with the right people there.)

Winter Blogging Challenge. Winter ABC. #3; My Favorite Local Food.

I am still up to speed to catch up with the lost days of the challenge and today, as I made my pledge and commitment to the cause, I ought to catch up so that’s why it looks strange that I am putting up challenge 3 on day 5. Rest assure yourself that I am going to make it to your level for the lost time. Now let’s proceed to some taste bud stuff.

I have fluctuating eating habits. I may at one time be in the mood to eat something as big as an elephant but when the food comes through, I eat a portion as small as a mice. When it comes to picking food, I am not that good either but a few that stand out are fried rice, sausages, fried eggs & fried chicken. I like the red velvet cake flavor but when I landed on the dark forest, I put the red velvet in the second position.

My favorite local food though is the rolex. It may not be a traditional meal like cassava, matooke and the like but it’s a Ugandan food so I guess it can pass. It’s more of a Ugandan fast food and if you’ve noticed, it has eggs in it. I like my rolex with nyanya mbissi (raw tomatoes) (It’s feminine to have the tomatoes fried in it.) and however hungry I may be, I can only comfortably eat one with two eggs and one chapatti. I don’t want ti let pleasure torture me with anything in excess.

To vividly illustrate it to you, a rolex is a fast food prepared in Uganda. It is composed of beaten eggs fried as a whole and then a chapatti (crepe) is laid on top. After frying the eggs, they are laid on top of the crepe and then other ingredients are cut and spread on top like green pepper, cabbages, onions though they too can be fried together with the eggs depending on your preference. Sometimes it is sliced in beans to make rolex-kikomando and it is very common in the ghetto suburbs of Uganda because it’s cheap and easy to prepare.

These days, people have added on the innovation with adding other ingredients like chicken, beef, mixed in the eggs then they are rolled like a mat with the crepe on top. It’s best served when hot and goes well with cold, soft drinks or tea.

However, if you’re looking at enjoying it well, never allow its maker to wash the preparation utensils especially the cup and fork used for beating the eggs in otherwise it will lose its sweetness.

Until recently, it was declared a national treasure by the Ugandan Ministry of Tourism thus making a mark of its relevance to our survival. We even have a festival for it.