Tag: depression

Day 14 of The Afrobloggers #Winterabc2021. Reasons Why Many People Who Go To Arabia Hardly Ever Survive The Streets When They Return.

The harsh reality of life that is affecting African countries is despicable. We have a very large youthful generation that is uncertain of their future. Job scarcity, poor
service delivery & resource distribution all mainly escalated by our poor African leaders. This has forced many youths to look to the vibrant Middle East as their only
savior. Without putting much emphasis on what one studied or is skilled at, the youths are willing to do any job available to make ends meet & secure their future. Jobs like security, cleaners, supermarket attendants, maids amongst others.


However, there is a common factor amongst these people; many of them who return from the Middle East tend to face it rough as time goes by.
Here is what I think are the reasons why;


Poor financial management knowledge and skills. – Many of them do make the money, yes, but there’s the aspect of doing what with it. A scenario; One can make say; 60 million. Maybe buys a house or starts a shop when they return. For the one with a house, they may lack knowledge to start a business with the remaining money so they pimp their house & sit back like as if in retirement. They eat the money either through acquisition of anything their mind desires or by hitting one luxury spot to the other till it all burns out & they have no option but to go back to make more.
The one with a shop; some people think that when they make the money, running a business comes easy. Damn. So they’ll pimp the shop & sit in it. Poor financial management skills will see the shop selling stock but not restocking because they
don’t know how to juggle the thing. Then they’ll say, ‘bandoga’ (they’re bewitching me). Poor Africans.

Poor skills and academic qualifications – Because they’re doing odd jobs, they can’t fit back into the corporate job sector because first; their jobs abroad can’t equate to something substantial in a corporate office setting. It’s hard to have been doing security the other side to come back & be hired for a PR job. Two; The house maid document can’t get one into the head of corporate banking sector this side mainly because, with being out of touch with the current dynamics of the corporate sector,
one lacks current accompanying academic documents for whatever job one wants to be hired for.


Others are detached from friends and family. – Bakukutta nga bagenda
(They’re usually hideous when going abroad) so when they come back, they hardly have anyone who can help them navigate around probably because they think everyone will want a piece of their money (which is largely true anyway). Because they ‘sneaked out’ without telling nobody, when they come back, some people who would help them settle & manage a life would care less. If you didn’t tell me when you was flying out, why do you need me when you’re back?
In Africa, once people know you have money, then they’ll make manifest their financial problems. So, upon your return, that’s when they’ll tell you of how the village home is leaking, needs painting, people will expect you to contribute millions for their events, that’s when your buddies will point you to the latest hangouts etc. They can’t settle till they’re sure you’ve burned out.


Faced with any of the above issues, the person will usually remain with one option; to fly back to kyeyo (odd job) so that they can sustain whatever they started otherwise many of them end up depressed as they watch their fortunes decline.

Day 5 Of The Afrobloggers #WinterABC2021What Should be the Mood For Social Media?

Do not post your issues on social media”. It is childish to put your problems out there. Find a way to address them”. This is advocacy & activism week of the #winterABC2021 & we’re post to be standing up for something. Today I am standing up for those who personally & or physically have no one to talk to but social media & against those who always find amusement in shutting them down.
We have come across posts of this kind in our different Social Media. Where people are dictating on others about what to post yet I have never seen it recommended anywhere when I am opening accounts on any social media that “Thou shall only post content where thee are happy so that you can please they? Have you? If you have, please send me the screenshot, the link. I need to be woke.


Therefore, I have come to realize that we our very own selves are the ones that are fueling the depression that we keep trending around. We are the ones that keep asking where humanity is headed to yet we are the ones that keep fuelling it low key. Why are we forcing people to keep up with a lifestyle that they cannot afford? Borrowing clothes to look lit, forcing to hangout in places where they cannot afford to be. Girls sleeping for
tickets to events just to keep up appearances. Like as if there is a prize for having the flyest social media account on line.


How can someone come out seeking help and the best we can do is to tell them that it is childish to bring forth our ‘dark’ issues online. That they are best resolved off of the internet. I thought it’s called social media for a reason not please me media. How does that even work? Where are our hearts? Where is our humanity? The world is destroying itself slowly by slowly. People on suicide through depression and we’re telling people that when they post their issues they are childish? When people come out for help and we tell them that it is childish, so when are we going to help them? What is a mature person supposed to post? I need a memo. Are we even intending to help them? Are we even worthy of being friends? If you cannot help someone then shut the fuck up, scroll away and ignore. You may just as well unfriend them and keep the happy lot that are
entertaining you on your TLs.

Depression is a killer and when someone comes out depressed them you say it ain’t real.
People are out there depressed. People are out there suffering. People are out there fighting their demons and instead of bringing them closer, we are busy calling them childish? Maybe before someone friends you you should tell them to also keep it sunny.


Just because you can silently afford to handle your issues silently doesn’t mean anyone else can. Just because you have contacts that at one click away can help you out doesn’t
mean any one else does. We are not at the same point in life. We do not have the access to the same resources, cool friends and supportive families. Nope. We are different. And so by the time someone comes out for help then it is deep. Then it is real. People are
suffering. People are desperate. People are hurting. People are abused, bruised and stripped. Cheated. Betrayed. People are depressed.
We are destroying ourselves. We are destroying humanity. Discrediting it. So unless we listen and offer some help, we should just shut the fuck up and stop talking about depression any way. Are you the social media police officer in charge of happiness?
For this matter, if you are out there depressed and need someone to listen to you, you can hit me up in my DM. I may not be in position to help you financially or physically but I will listen and talk to you best way I can. I hear “You’re posting childish”. Fuck
you. Yes I am pissed so bad I am boiling. God.

Blessings Of Loving A Broken One.

From collaborative words driven by Benjamin Watch & a feature of the beautiful Louisa…Imagine drinking from broken glass or eating from a broken plate, if it were to happen successfully then it would need a certain amount of care……………So long as she loves in her own way, and accepts to be loved at her own pace of a broken soul I don’t care if she doesn’t want an official marriage or even the prospect of kids, I am fine with her. Broken things are not for an imperfect man to fix. Love can fit and come out from any sort of crack. We are all broken in some form.

If you have been to Benjamin WATCH Blog before you can figure out which exact blog post the words or portion I and my two friends are building on. No, I will not be providing the link to the piece. When I put out a tweet asking for someone to work with on this post, Louisa from Malawi and ‘I Marvin’ from Uganda honored the call. So here we go on the positives for loving broken souls.

“We are all broken”, they say in some aspect. But that is more of a coating that can come off as an insult to someone who has really been broken by the past. The world is an ugly place that anything can break people, from careers to romantic love to family backgrounds. Imagine telling a lady or gentleman who was sexually assaulted in the past by those they loved that we are all broken. It would be cold of you. Broken people are seen to be unsteady and unreliable especially when it comes to relationships in their lives. Being in their lives seems draining and it really is but it can have a side to it, and it does.

Broken people live in pieces and bits that may never come together again but that is one of their many refinements. They can effortlessly share themselves with you if you try so hard to get close to them. The fact that they give love a chance after going through whatever broke them is a testament that they have enormous love deep in them, it is as though they don’t fear love. They sometimes “over-over” since their care for those that take interest in their flaws is beyond normal.


Broken people are the nicest beings at living in the moment and they make the moment wonderful since they know they are volcanoes with not much time. The way they love if they are to is special, they love the heaviest and are precious at it. They can be sunshine on a rainy day. Broken people know what it means to love since they have been hurt in the past.

If you want to feel like or even be a superhero, love a broken soul, the adventure of handling a time bomb in a person can be a thrill. An extreme sport of a kind. They will bring out the best in us because we are careful not to incite the demon in them. Sometimes it’s beautiful to when you wait on a broken soul to start loving you back because they take forever to.

The most important thing you need is Patience. Patience is what makes you understand them, and gives you hope that they will come around. Most will have the Wall of China built around their heart, to protect them from the evil outside. Instead of acting like a tourist, be a wall guard. Be there to guard their hearts just like they do it.

See, there is something beautiful in broken. The most beautiful of vases are those that broke and the pieces were glued back together. A tale of hope and restoration, a desire to hold on. Like glue. The scars show strength to hold it together. And though they will push you back, and make it seem like you are the reason they are broken; know that deep inside, they are fighting with themselves over the emotions they feel. The desire to be free from the broken past and a taste of freedom to give love and be loved back in equal or even more measures. To be able to live life and create new memories with someone that won’t mind the scars on them but sees the special in them all over again. A silver lining on the horizon.

It’s your role to show them this positivity and to assure them that all will be well. Be their knight in shining armor that they been waiting for. To the last drop be there, be patient, be loving.


Louisa is a Malawian poet, art lover & blogger. You can Follow her journey, thoughts and craziness through her blog posts. https://thelouisamsiska.com/
Find her work here


Benjamin is from Uganda & he’s constantly ‘Questioning the question.’ A very spirited promoter of creative creators across this rock we inhabit called Africa. He’s intuitive work can be found here https://musanjufukavubu.wordpress.com/

I must admit I was excited to do a writing collab this year & this opportunity was totally amazing. Please do check out the links provided for these people have amazing works that will keep you thirsting for more.

Winter Blogging Challenge. Winter ABC 2020. #21. Repost. Recycle. Don’t Make Her A Single Mother

A woman loved a man. She loved him hard and he played the part. Her dreams were coming true. She was going to be a wife to a loving man and then have him a couple of beautiful litluns making him a father and altogether become a beautiful family.

So when he wooed her heart, she gave to him one of her most precious assets, her sexuality. You can’t blame her because she looked at this man as the perfect candidate to make a family with. Probably because, in the course of dating, he presented that dream quite too often and seriously and so a child they got for a family she hoped they would make.

The bastard instead, was just for a joy ride so once the tot was delivered, off he ran. To the hills or the valleys, across the plains or the mountains no one knew for he disappeared faster than he came into her life. Probably to spread his horn further. A heartbroken female, he left behind. A dad less child he left behind. Abandoned.

Broken heart. Shattered dreams. Hurt emotions and literally a fatherless child with a husbandless mother. She now has to fend for not only herself but for her child too. It is like it was a mistake for her to give in herself to him. Like it was her blunder to leave every other suitor for him. Such a heartless coward.

The world has never really been a cool shade for single moms. The blame they go through for having given in to a man that couldn’t commit. The promiscuous stigmatization they are given. We tend to label them being loose. We tend to pile the blame on her and turn blind to the idiot that played with her heart. That failed to act like a man and take charge of the results from his horn. The struggle they go through finding another suitor that won’t traumatize them for what happened before. Bringing it up in every argument, the insecurities, the ignoring of the child that came with her. That it’s her responsibility and that he starts from where he came into her picture.

A single mother is like a sheep in the wilderness full of wolf packs. Like Survivor Island, she has to keep up or be left behind. She lives in denial of her reality. Having to hide the child from possible suitors thinking they will jump ship once they know that she got extra baggage. Many men will think she is loose and try to gain sexual favors from her or that she is in a constant disparate need for help (which may be true) and try to get sexual in exchange for help. That is a sad reality. Hardly will any of them try to commit. Many fear that responsibility. “How can I father a child I didn’t father?” It is sad. It hurts.

Now literary alone in the world, that is if her family didn’t ignore her too because many think it is a taboo for a woman to have a child and not live with its father. A shame to the family name and also if the father’s family doesn’t treat her any different, she now has to fend for school fees so that the baby gets an education, medical care, housing, food, clothes, belonging and identity and all this while the father, the husband that was supposed to be is out there sexing other women. Probably they also know that he absconded from his parental responsibilities somewhere but what the heck, he said he loves me too so let the sista find a way to survive with her kid am moving on with the man now.

Dear player, if at all you don’t have plans of making that woman your wife then don’t make her a mother for nothing. Withdraw, wear a condom or don’t sex her at all and if at all you aren’t ready to take care of a woman and her child then stay away from single mothers. It is that simple. It is not a life she called for.

To the families that are raising the boy child, please teach that boy before he thinks he is now a man that women ought to be respected, honored, cherished, protected and loved. That sex is not everything and once they take on the sex activities, they must be ready for the consequences that come after. That live sex doesn’t give birth to a TV, car or anything but a baby and it is that child, their own seed that they’re going to subject a lot of mental torture to the moment they decide to close the door on them.

 Just as well, dear woman, not everything male that says it loves you really does so you do not have to open your legs for them without protection just because they said they love you. Let that niga take his time dating you if need bes while in that moment you’re looking out for the father figure in him. There are always red flags to look out for and yes, some things are actually worth the wait if you’re committed to looking out for the best.

What A Girl Should Know.

Someone one day stated that “Every girl is a gold digger but the degree varies & it’s
dependent on how deep she feels you.” Well, that no longer makes the front page as it has become an everyday occurrence. At least every guy has experienced it in any one
of his relationships & some (guys) would testify that it was the incessant demands of the girl that broke the relationship while some (girls) would claim that they can’t put up with a financially unstable guy.


So our dear women keep crying for Women Emancipation saying how tired they’re of being kept in the shadows, trying to prove that they too can work as equally well & at times far more better than men in so many aspects of life, financial independence
inclusive but most of those who advocate for that are still the very ones who sit back & wait for the guy to take them out & do the bills & so many other things they call gentlemanly. What I’ve failed to understand is whether women emancipation doctrines refuse women to look after their men especially in financial matters but to
still offer themselves up for comfort sex once a deed has been done to them. This has
actually further upgraded your level of slavery in a way that those who still wait for the man to play the gentleman part have ended up having nothing but being
unknowingly miserable lots.

But why has it got to be like that? Where so many dames believe that a guy’s assets
are her entitlements? I thought that in a relationship, we’re all concerned for its survival so we’re entitled to pool resources together & sustain it. It has become rare for her to take you out, pimp you up or show any sign of financial /material support
yet she expects you to foot everything like as if she wasn’t living before your entree into her broke life. Like she doesn’t realize that all that money she requests you to take her out with or buy her something can be used to pay rent, start a business, or build a house & what happened to her family & relatives?


Thought they should be concerned too. Or they don’t get inspired by a few girls they see earning their grind & tipping off their guys? Some don’t realize that it’s some form of slavery where the guy can take advantage of her poor economic status to enslave her in the relationship while he goes to get some better ish from another dame …because he knows you have no way out but to beg for whatever he’ll donate to you.


We as guys know it’s our responsibility to spend on our girls but it’s not constituted anywhere that they should sit back on their loins waiting for when we’d earn so that they could eat. They should also play their part. If she liked the guy because he had a fair skin, cool shirts or kicks, then when she notices them going wrong at a point in time, she could dig into her pocket, pull out a note & say,” Honey, here’s some mulla.
You could go buy yourself another cool pair.” That wouldn’t hurt I suppose because you’re investing in your relationship. To cut the long rant short, here’s a statement to think about; ‘MUCH AS IT’S DEADLY FOR A BROKE GUY TO DATE, IT’S
EQUALLY SUICIDAL TO DATE A BROKE GIRL “……