Category: pride

Day 5 Of The Afrobloggers #WinterABC2021What Should be the Mood For Social Media?

Do not post your issues on social media”. It is childish to put your problems out there. Find a way to address them”. This is advocacy & activism week of the #winterABC2021 & we’re post to be standing up for something. Today I am standing up for those who personally & or physically have no one to talk to but social media & against those who always find amusement in shutting them down.
We have come across posts of this kind in our different Social Media. Where people are dictating on others about what to post yet I have never seen it recommended anywhere when I am opening accounts on any social media that “Thou shall only post content where thee are happy so that you can please they? Have you? If you have, please send me the screenshot, the link. I need to be woke.

Therefore, I have come to realize that we our very own selves are the ones that are fueling the depression that we keep trending around. We are the ones that keep asking where humanity is headed to yet we are the ones that keep fuelling it low key. Why are we forcing people to keep up with a lifestyle that they cannot afford? Borrowing clothes to look lit, forcing to hangout in places where they cannot afford to be. Girls sleeping for
tickets to events just to keep up appearances. Like as if there is a prize for having the flyest social media account on line.

How can someone come out seeking help and the best we can do is to tell them that it is childish to bring forth our ‘dark’ issues online. That they are best resolved off of the internet. I thought it’s called social media for a reason not please me media. How does that even work? Where are our hearts? Where is our humanity? The world is destroying itself slowly by slowly. People on suicide through depression and we’re telling people that when they post their issues they are childish? When people come out for help and we tell them that it is childish, so when are we going to help them? What is a mature person supposed to post? I need a memo. Are we even intending to help them? Are we even worthy of being friends? If you cannot help someone then shut the fuck up, scroll away and ignore. You may just as well unfriend them and keep the happy lot that are
entertaining you on your TLs.

Depression is a killer and when someone comes out depressed them you say it ain’t real.
People are out there depressed. People are out there suffering. People are out there fighting their demons and instead of bringing them closer, we are busy calling them childish? Maybe before someone friends you you should tell them to also keep it sunny.

Just because you can silently afford to handle your issues silently doesn’t mean anyone else can. Just because you have contacts that at one click away can help you out doesn’t
mean any one else does. We are not at the same point in life. We do not have the access to the same resources, cool friends and supportive families. Nope. We are different. And so by the time someone comes out for help then it is deep. Then it is real. People are
suffering. People are desperate. People are hurting. People are abused, bruised and stripped. Cheated. Betrayed. People are depressed.
We are destroying ourselves. We are destroying humanity. Discrediting it. So unless we listen and offer some help, we should just shut the fuck up and stop talking about depression any way. Are you the social media police officer in charge of happiness?
For this matter, if you are out there depressed and need someone to listen to you, you can hit me up in my DM. I may not be in position to help you financially or physically but I will listen and talk to you best way I can. I hear “You’re posting childish”. Fuck
you. Yes I am pissed so bad I am boiling. God.

Embrace Your Jealousy

Believe it or not, we’re naturally wired to feel a bit of jealousy in the face of some other people’s glory. Unless of course if you’ve already reached that cosmic religious realm where your feelings are not of the world. But back to normal humans, like in a case where your peer is doing something that you have also wanted to do but it hasn’t clicked quite yet for you as you want it. Well, man is not immune to sinning. Reason for the commandments but then a little envy never hurt no body if at all one channels that feeling to positively better themselves.

Some may be travelling the world, others wedding, birthing, running projects or putting up a crazy villa blah blah blah & this all getting to your head. Strategizing & re-strategizing trying to figure your bearing in life. Questioning whether the gods have ever been on your side? Are they using you for a poverty case study on earth?  Social media isn’t helping at all either for many have used it to portray a life they aren’t living. All their apparent success is flooding your timeline yet some simply walk into a building & strategically take pictures, post them up & portray a master life.

All this should not get to your head. Just try to channel that energy to bettering yourself. You don’t need to drag yourself into unwanted battles of comparison with others. Work on your time, on yourself. None of these people brought you to the world to start demanding accountability from you about your life.

“If you continuously compete with others you become bitter, but if you continuously compete with yourself you become better.”

Just step out & get doing. Channel all that into an inspiration, a mission & get to work. Remember, we all can’t have everything at the same time. Today they do, tomorrow you’ll do. Some are privileged to get them freely but imagine the joy of you working to get them from your own sweat at the end of the day. Champion.

Take joy in what you already have because there’re those who have no idea of how to get even the little you have. That which you’re taking for granted. Stay woke.

Winter Blogging Challenge. Winter ABC 2020. #21. Repost. Recycle. Don’t Make Her A Single Mother

A woman loved a man. She loved him hard and he played the part. Her dreams were coming true. She was going to be a wife to a loving man and then have him a couple of beautiful litluns making him a father and altogether become a beautiful family.

So when he wooed her heart, she gave to him one of her most precious assets, her sexuality. You can’t blame her because she looked at this man as the perfect candidate to make a family with. Probably because, in the course of dating, he presented that dream quite too often and seriously and so a child they got for a family she hoped they would make.

The bastard instead, was just for a joy ride so once the tot was delivered, off he ran. To the hills or the valleys, across the plains or the mountains no one knew for he disappeared faster than he came into her life. Probably to spread his horn further. A heartbroken female, he left behind. A dad less child he left behind. Abandoned.

Broken heart. Shattered dreams. Hurt emotions and literally a fatherless child with a husbandless mother. She now has to fend for not only herself but for her child too. It is like it was a mistake for her to give in herself to him. Like it was her blunder to leave every other suitor for him. Such a heartless coward.

The world has never really been a cool shade for single moms. The blame they go through for having given in to a man that couldn’t commit. The promiscuous stigmatization they are given. We tend to label them being loose. We tend to pile the blame on her and turn blind to the idiot that played with her heart. That failed to act like a man and take charge of the results from his horn. The struggle they go through finding another suitor that won’t traumatize them for what happened before. Bringing it up in every argument, the insecurities, the ignoring of the child that came with her. That it’s her responsibility and that he starts from where he came into her picture.

A single mother is like a sheep in the wilderness full of wolf packs. Like Survivor Island, she has to keep up or be left behind. She lives in denial of her reality. Having to hide the child from possible suitors thinking they will jump ship once they know that she got extra baggage. Many men will think she is loose and try to gain sexual favors from her or that she is in a constant disparate need for help (which may be true) and try to get sexual in exchange for help. That is a sad reality. Hardly will any of them try to commit. Many fear that responsibility. “How can I father a child I didn’t father?” It is sad. It hurts.

Now literary alone in the world, that is if her family didn’t ignore her too because many think it is a taboo for a woman to have a child and not live with its father. A shame to the family name and also if the father’s family doesn’t treat her any different, she now has to fend for school fees so that the baby gets an education, medical care, housing, food, clothes, belonging and identity and all this while the father, the husband that was supposed to be is out there sexing other women. Probably they also know that he absconded from his parental responsibilities somewhere but what the heck, he said he loves me too so let the sista find a way to survive with her kid am moving on with the man now.

Dear player, if at all you don’t have plans of making that woman your wife then don’t make her a mother for nothing. Withdraw, wear a condom or don’t sex her at all and if at all you aren’t ready to take care of a woman and her child then stay away from single mothers. It is that simple. It is not a life she called for.

To the families that are raising the boy child, please teach that boy before he thinks he is now a man that women ought to be respected, honored, cherished, protected and loved. That sex is not everything and once they take on the sex activities, they must be ready for the consequences that come after. That live sex doesn’t give birth to a TV, car or anything but a baby and it is that child, their own seed that they’re going to subject a lot of mental torture to the moment they decide to close the door on them.

 Just as well, dear woman, not everything male that says it loves you really does so you do not have to open your legs for them without protection just because they said they love you. Let that niga take his time dating you if need bes while in that moment you’re looking out for the father figure in him. There are always red flags to look out for and yes, some things are actually worth the wait if you’re committed to looking out for the best.

Winter Blogging Challenge. Winter ABC 2020 #8. 3 Things I Wish African Content Creators Should Avoid.

In the field of content creation, there are so many gaffes exhibited by the creators that some have killed their vibes and limited their growth. From grammar to ignorance on the topic, these have affected their growth and authenticity among others. Below are three of them elaborated;  

Pride. I wish creative writers should avoid the element of pride. There are so many who feel so entitled to the title of blogger that they feel it downgrades them to follow, share, like, read or comment on fellow creatives’ works. It kills the vibe of togetherness. The community we’re surviving in and trying to build. They should know that this character eventually kills their growth especially if you do not support others then why should the others support you? This is what has made people like Musanjufu Benjamin to stand out in this field.

I think creatives should avoid plagiarism. People should learn to credit to the works there’re borrowing from others. If you’re sharing a tweet, paragraph and anything of the sort then why shouldn’t you capture the owner’s name too? The content is going to gain credit obviously but let it just as well gain credit to the originator? If I find you sharing my works with my credit on then definitely I will return the favor. I will share yours, like, comment and refer others to you as well.

Content creators need to do research where necessary and also work on their grammar. Sometimes readers are very keen that when you mess up things like geographical locations or years in a story that needs factual data, they will lose interest in your work or bash you for it. A not so good experience for a creative. With the grammar, there is nothing that kills a written story as poor grammar. Sometimes it kills your message that people will stop midway your content or they’ll start avoiding your content all together and this will definitely affect your growth and your reach.

Otherwise, thanks to Afrobloggers for this opportunity as every day is both a learning and teaching point that I hope many of us are picking something useful from.

Winter Blogging Challenge. Winter ABC. #3; My Favorite Local Food.

I am still up to speed to catch up with the lost days of the challenge and today, as I made my pledge and commitment to the cause, I ought to catch up so that’s why it looks strange that I am putting up challenge 3 on day 5. Rest assure yourself that I am going to make it to your level for the lost time. Now let’s proceed to some taste bud stuff.

I have fluctuating eating habits. I may at one time be in the mood to eat something as big as an elephant but when the food comes through, I eat a portion as small as a mice. When it comes to picking food, I am not that good either but a few that stand out are fried rice, sausages, fried eggs & fried chicken. I like the red velvet cake flavor but when I landed on the dark forest, I put the red velvet in the second position.

My favorite local food though is the rolex. It may not be a traditional meal like cassava, matooke and the like but it’s a Ugandan food so I guess it can pass. It’s more of a Ugandan fast food and if you’ve noticed, it has eggs in it. I like my rolex with nyanya mbissi (raw tomatoes) (It’s feminine to have the tomatoes fried in it.) and however hungry I may be, I can only comfortably eat one with two eggs and one chapatti. I don’t want ti let pleasure torture me with anything in excess.

To vividly illustrate it to you, a rolex is a fast food prepared in Uganda. It is composed of beaten eggs fried as a whole and then a chapatti (crepe) is laid on top. After frying the eggs, they are laid on top of the crepe and then other ingredients are cut and spread on top like green pepper, cabbages, onions though they too can be fried together with the eggs depending on your preference. Sometimes it is sliced in beans to make rolex-kikomando and it is very common in the ghetto suburbs of Uganda because it’s cheap and easy to prepare.

These days, people have added on the innovation with adding other ingredients like chicken, beef, mixed in the eggs then they are rolled like a mat with the crepe on top. It’s best served when hot and goes well with cold, soft drinks or tea.

However, if you’re looking at enjoying it well, never allow its maker to wash the preparation utensils especially the cup and fork used for beating the eggs in otherwise it will lose its sweetness.

Until recently, it was declared a national treasure by the Ugandan Ministry of Tourism thus making a mark of its relevance to our survival. We even have a festival for it.