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Shadray

For the love of it all I am a writer (reason why I am here anyways), a dancer (enjoying my retirement) a TV presenter (3 stations back) and just a random guy.

Day Four of The Afrobloggers #Winterabc2021. Falling In Love With A Creative.

It’s the last day of week one. I have lived through the week, hurray to me. ‘I’ve literary stepped into each day with a blank mind but somehow survived through it. My work schedule hardly lets me rest. I am a lover guy and I just can’t let the whole week go without some love…Now let’s see how creatives deal with love.

people like Casa. He lives here… casa

When you fall in love with a creative, you’ll be immortalized either through music, poems, stories, paintings, photographs or videography. It’s our thing when we get romantic. Immortalizing the people we love. 

However, how you’re immortalized depends on how you related to the end. If the relationship blooms to bear fruit, you will live in be immortalized in the most beautiful way unimaginable. But it dare ends in tears, you’ll wish you never met because the immortality will knock you so hard you’ll take time to walk again. 

Here’s what I am talking about;

This was love, 

I like inhaling deeply when you’re nearby so that your scent lingers in my nostrils, long enough for me to hallucinate & day dream about you throughout. I like brushing against you any chance I get so that I feel your presence on my skin. That close moment bathes goose bumps all over me. I come alive.

I like it when we wrap our pinky fingers together in the packed office, standing in positions where no one is looking, silently whispering I love you’s to each other & stifling the smiles that come after.” 

And this is when love is lost; 

I was too blind to notice that this love we shared wasn’t gonna last with me. Try to make you & me become we. Heart matters tragedy.

You talked of true love when you was with me but when you hooked up elsewhere I can hardly even believe that you was real with me.” you can find the whole post here.

We’re just that emotional but what kind of emotion depends on how you relate with them. 

Day Three of The Afrobloggers #Winterabc2021. A Dented Dream.

Every end of a year has people setting up goals and plans for what the next year should be and once the new year pulls up, things are set in motion. that was not any different with how I looked at 202o. However, life had other things on its bucket list, the damned COVID-19.


I have been writing for quite some time and admittedly, my writing has inspired many other people into either enjoy reading or joining the creative writing industry. Once in a while I would receive people asking for advice on how to write or express themselves through writing basing on how I made them feel with mine. I have inspired exs of mine into embracing writing and it was always
amusing. Dating a writer is bae. I even at one time called out people that I wanted to start a one month WhatsApp group where I could share free writing tips to those that wanted to embrace the arts and a few people turned up. The energy in there was good.


This made me set my eyes on 2020 as the year for me to hold my first creative writing workshop; Shadray’s Creative Writing Class. The Genesis. “Embracing The Art”.

Because I feel I am also still learning much more about writing, I wanted to host this free event for those that were still at the very beginning of the craft so that they get into it well knowing about their niche.
This was going to be a free attendance writers’ conference for people that are trying to discover their writing skills mainly focusing on helping ‘young’ writers with framing words from their mind to paper or any other format which usually is a computer.
Briefly, it was intended to make manifest the writing spirit of beginners so that they can be able to produce that which is in their mind through realizing & embracing some of the key factors that make one a writer such as; motivation,
identity & style through seeking to answer questions like;

 What motivates/ inspires one to write? (motivation)
 What kind of writer does one want to be? (identity)
 How does one’s writing want to be understood/ message delivery? (style)
But this dream has not died with last year and I am going to try embarking on it again. a creative out there needs a hand to help them express themselves. So help me God.

Day Two of The Afrobloggers #Winterabc2021

Why a creative needs to participate in such challenges.

Well, welcome to day two of the #WinterABC2021. Day one went superbly well I must admit. Many salutations to those that decided to take part.

As we’re still about the creatives’, welcome to day two. Hope you love this one too. A creative artist is one who expresses their feelings, ideas, talents, or gifts for either entertainment, education, or as a form of influencing social change. (My definition) This can be a dancer, vlogger, podcaster, painter, a writer belonging to so many of the numerous forms under it (I am mainly a relationships’ blogger), an activist, etc. as it is quite the norm these days than ever before.

It takes a creative, only to know how crazy and intricate this field is. It’s highly competitive and changes too fast that one slip and someone else has taken your spot therefore it may need one to work double-time to stay on top. One of these double-time efforts is taking part in activities like the Afrobloggers Winter ABC and below is why you damn right should.

  • It helps you maintain consistency. Like I said in the opening, a creative needs to be consistent. You need to get into the habit of establishing a consistent routine. Something that your followers will keep track of you about because we definitely need a following. Consistency will bring perfection and perfection will bring exposure which in turn will bring you deals (gigs) and then voila, you’ll see yourself earning from your trade.
  • Networking: No man is an island. You need those connections buddy if you are to survive through these streets. the winterABC challenge is one good avenue to make those important connections because it not only exposes you to your local bloggers but to the international world as well. These will be the kind of people who will recommend you to other people, who will collaborate with you or offer you other great niceties that may come along the way. never ever forget that one of the ways of building these networks is by following other people’s works, reading, sharing, commenting and replying to them because people only ride with those that ride with them.
  • Self-development (writing and reading): Writing and reading especially every day is hard. That’s why they’re called skills and skills don’t come easy. Participating in challenges like this would definitely help you polish these skills. The challenge you’ll get after reading what other people have put up will push you back into your hole and try to make yours come out better. That’s where the magic comes in. From such healthy competitions because now you’re on a bigger level where you have to level up.

just s well, it helps you with thinking fast. Coming up with different posts every day for a full month is not easy. Your desire to be consistent will be exhibited in how fast you think because you wouldn’t want to be caught behind time. The panic induced disappointment.

  • Exposure: This isn’t your local street challenge. The winter ABC is an international challenge that exposes your works (and site) to readers and fellow creatives even outside Africa. The exposure you can get out of this is good enough to give your site ratings, stats and growth and these are numbers that can get you gigs and whatever else you may be looking for.
  • Helps you learn about other fields in the game: This works through the different topics we’re given. As mainly a relationships’ writer, I am looking at the weeks where I’ll be talking about advocacy, business, fashion etc. and that will be a changer in my game. Reading what others will have written will be an eye opener into those other fields. Who knows, maybe you may find your creative juices belong there or it may be so good that you may find yourself expanding your creative arsenal and boy does being knowledgeable pay off.

And with those few pointers, if you are reading this and are still contemplating on whether to join in or not, I hope I have managed to inspire you. Now open up that blank page and write away, we at the Afrobloggers family will be around to help you push for the better. See you in my newsfeed soon. Peace.

Credit goes to Lebogang of sanctuary of greatness for her day one piece here inspired me to come up with my day two-piece. See, that’s one of the importance of reading. the inspiration from others.

Day One Afrobloggers #WinterABC2021.

The 2021 Afrobloggers Winter ABC (African Blogging Challenge) #WINTERABC2021 is here again. Organized by Afrobloggers, an African-based creative hub for different content creators uniting Africans here and beyond, Afrobloggers, it’s an exciting period for bloggers to engage in something like this. A learning point for many as well as a great way to make all those incredible networks in this field.

I first engaged with this last year, same period and boy was it insane. Last year’s challenge, so us working out different topics each day and I must admit that I was shook at how I was able to come up with content every day. My imagination was challenged then stretched.

This year, they have decided to make it simple by giving us four topics, one each week, Monday to Friday of June except on weekends for resting and networking. What one posts must align with their site’s theme. 

I am thus looking forward to walking through it with you. Your likes, follow, and engaging conversations will be most welcome. Let’s get into it.

#winterabc2021

The Red Flags To Flag Down

Google image

Sometimes it’s actually in the views our partner has towards love, life & the dynamics of a relationship in general & to save yourself from such blues, lookout for some of these signs about your partner & just as well, before you go any further with a relationship, have you weighed its pros & cons?

Quite often, when a relationship goes sour, it’s when we decide to roll back the film & go through so many of the things we thought we skipped that might have led to the death of our love. Placing little markings here & there trying to put the pieces together, trying to look back into the issues that we might’ve ignored.

  • Is the relationship developmental? Is it healthy for your mental wellbeing? Does it push you two to a next level in life or it’s like sitting in a car pretending it’s moving yet it has no tyres…..where the heck are you headed?
  • Have you ever featured in any of your partner’s future plans? What plans they have for the relationship? Are your partner’s views aiming at your mutual existence? They should be telling you of their future plans in which you ought to feature. They should be talking about a family & their views should be comforting to motivate you into starting a family with them. If you’re not mentioned in any of their future plans of being together, then you ought to be scared. It’s ugly to be there teething while your partner has never mentioned you in the next chapter of their life.
  • Do they respect your feelings, privacy & decisions? Do they create an atmosphere where you’re both at the same table discussing family issues together & letting your views be implemented when they’re right without feeling threatened of your presence to the power balance in the relationship? Do you have to overly explain yourself or use force to get your view across? Are they the ‘I am always right” kind of person? How do they handle your moods? How do they argue with you or handle your insecurities?
  • Is your partner professionally helpful? Are they helping you pursue your dreams & career or they’re somewhat pulling you down? Do they feel threatened by your professional life & financial power & if so, how are you dealing with it? Do they help you in the job search? Completing assignments? Giving you time to concentrate on your work? Help you draft CVs? Or it’s all about playing sex, consuming illicit stuff & binge shopping?
  • What are their views about work? Do they expect to always be provided for or they plan on working to feed the relationship? They must be willing to work so as to provide…you’re not going to eat dirt are you?
  • What are their reaction & relationship towards the opposite sex? Are they the type that gets overly excited when they meet people of the others? How do they talk of them? How do they flirt & react to flirts? If more attention is given to others even in your presence, then be scared.
  • Is there openness in the relationship & to what level? That moment when you touch your partner’s property & they come crashing down on you like a buffalo. When you try to give them feedback & they always going offensive. What’re they insecure of? What’re they hiding & scared of?
  • Analyze their spending. Some people spend on things they don’t need, excessive partying, traveling etc. & this is a good way to go broke. What’re your partner’s views about life? Are they planning on living on the next level or they only look at living for that moment?
  • Check their saving culture. Are they saving for what’s worthy? Some people love to live for the day & forget that there’s tomorrow…that’s a lack of foresight.
  • Is your partner hanging with the right people? Those that will help push them to the next level or it’s a bunch of happy go lucky idiots whose goal is to hit all happening joints around town? Are they ones that impart constructive knowledge to your partner or feed them lies & false egos? Are they introducing them to the right people or to other potential partners? You should watch out.
  • Does he/she introduce you to the right people (family) & positive people like bosses, influential people or fellow rag tags?
  • Be wary if your partner doesn’t seem to get over their ex…You may find yourself ditched & they be back together.
  • Help yourselves either where you can; physically, emotionally or financially because in this current trend, it’s hard for one person to carry the whole relationship on their back. Remember; it’s a mutual relationship not a sexual or business partnership.

Much its things you should look out for in your partner, they may as well be the things about you so before you start questioning your partner, find out whether none of them apply to you as well. Otherwise ……Best Of Luck