Month: April 2021

Of Good Character, Rashida’s Qualities…Of A Perfect Partner

Sometime in 2020, during one of those (#MeToo campaigns), There was a social media topic about people’s characters. Commonly, such topics involve qualities one looks out for in a partner. Amongst a number of comments on a certain post I can’t seem to find anymore was a comment by Rashida Namulondo, a poet and actress. I was so captivated by a fellow creative’s comment that I had to capture it and reproduce it for the world to see how beautiful she described qualities of her potential partner.

So, below she said…

‘’People are not perfect!  It depends on what you are looking for. Personally I want a good person, be it a romantic relationship, work relationship or friend. This is how I know a good person that I want in my life.

  • How he treats people around him especially support staff like waiters and cleaners. How he treats colleagues under his supervisor and he is in a superior position than them. It’s very easy to see someone’s manners in these situations of power play.
  • How open is he to the fact that he’s still learning, and that other people’s opinions and perspective on life counts just like his? Basically, I can’t handle people who think they are better than others and have this ‘I am right’ attitude.
  • How does he handle conflict? Let’s say for example, he bumps into someone on the road. Does he accept blame or goes on cursing and denies blame. Now, I know even the best of people curse on Ugandan roads but there are people who go beyond. Also, is he the kind who can be able to take the courage to mend things whether it’s his fault or not?
  • Does he have a plan in life and is he working courageously towards it? If he has no plan, is he the kind committed and interested in learning? Does he seek to improve his skills and take an extra mile to learn new things and skills? I can’t handle people who don’t strive to grow and be better than they were yesterday.
  • Is he a grateful person? Does He acknowledge the mercy of God? The help of others who have helped him? Is he grateful and is he able to meaningfully acknowledge help?
  • Does he take feedback? Is he able to take feedback without turning you into a bad person for giving him negative feedback and does he strive to change?
  • How does he speak of people when they are not around? It’s okay to complain once in a while about someone who has wronged you at work etc. but constantly speaking evil of someone? Noo! Does he ever acknowledge the good things even the worst his enemies could have or has done for him in his life? What is his relationship with his relatives? Even the bad ones. 
  • Now being a nice person doesn’t mean to be a push over. Can he stand up for himself respectfully without insulting others? Does he have boundaries and non-negotiables? And can he tell me the truth every single day even if it hurts?
  • Finally, does he see me? Does he even notice I am there? How well does he know my dreams? My goals. My ambitions. (This question is key because it can only mean a person listens when you talk or even when you don’t.) I know people I hardly talk to but they can recite my dreams, my hopes, things that upset me and those that bring me joy off their lips. And there are those I am close to who even after so many conversations have no slightest idea about who I am, what I hope for, what angers me and what are my dreams.

A person who truly sees you. Knows your soul because they feel it. That is the one that truly cares about you.

NB. These may seem so many things but very often you will be surprised that a good person ticks off all these boxes.

Rashida Namulondo

Rashida is a Ugandan based actress, stage director, and award-winning poet. She is the founder of the Sophie Muwanika Institute of Art for Change. A nonprofit organization that uses theatre for peace building.

Our Last Time.

I want to love you properly. Like it is my last time. Your last time. Anyways, it is our last time. Never to see us again, our last wish. Loving someone else, our worst wish. Never to make plans with you again, our lost wish. Never falling in love again with us, our feared wish…so I want to make this be our best time. Sadly, our last time.

I want to hold you proper. Talk to you proper. I want to laugh with you again. Hear that loud chuckle one last time. I loved how you used to look at me deeply. Your eyes piercing into my soul sharply. I felt them. They had love written all over them & I fearfully loved it.

I want to make love to you proper. Break you down and build you up again. With sweat, emotions, and ecstasy, girl, you loved that intimacy, because boy oh boy I sure did it better. I held your hand better on them walks. The walks up the hill. Or the romance on the boda. Weaving through traffic like them roads we owned. The dancing in the room. My Miss Uganda. I made your mind calmer and listened to your dreams clearer. The tears in your eyes I made them disappear faster and on my chest, you laid better. Sweet peace.

But now you are gone. Regrettable tears for the moves we didn’t make. Chess pieces. Like the wind you gonna blow away and fat chance, I’ll never see you again…unless if the world pulls a sneaky one on us…otherwise, this seems like it’s our last time. Wish I could spend it with you because I am sure you will love it. This one last time, the Kindle to the Kitty.

Refuge In The Darkness

I take refuge in the darkness. Its solidness makes me come alive. Feels like a playground for me. Its loneliness gives me strength. Its stillness awakens my senses. Its blindness hides the tears and the fear in my eyes. The stories that hang in my mind etched on my heart like scars of the holocaust. Will never be forgotten. Their perpetrators, maybe they should never be forgiven. We don’t just waste love and forgiveness like that. We must put some respek to it.

The darkness. Gives me refuge to my damned heart and troubled soul. It’s like the safest place for me to run my mind. A table for me to lay my plans. Grand schemes. So many. It’s a crowd. Of thoughts. Wishes. Dreams. It’s like the canvas, a pallet in one hand, brush in the other as I am the painter and so on it I make the master strokes.

Its hideousness knows my pain and the anger, the disappointments and the fears that run and boil like a steam engine in my mind. Thomas. At one time like the unquenchable fires of the Amazon. Oh so help me God.

Darkness to me unfolds like the orchestra and my life is given the baton as I become the conductor…of my thoughts.

Motivated By a David Solis’ Top 10 Piano Covers.

Poisoned Apple

internet image

Don’t call me baby

When you know I am not the only one.
Don’t say you love me

When you know I share those words with someone else.
Don’t show you care

When your heart ain’t here.
I ain’t a robot, I too got blood, a heart, feelings & emotions.

For

I gave you my love in vain, patience with
persistence & consistence, I waited for your
considerance.
But here I am right now, crying out
disappointed.

I thought my heart was to only know your beauty.
But after a while now from getting to know you,
it seemed I was fooling myself.

For your beauty
turned out to be an attraction for me to fall
into your poison.

It was a poisoned apple.