break up

Don’t Lust!

Moving on is one of the hardest decisions ever to be made by man. Moving on from a relationship that you saw as your final deal is as complex as moving back in with an ex who claims to be single. The latter is rather more like a gamble.

Everyone has a first cut & very so much often, people have got stuck here like Nairobi traffic. People will bring up many excuses to fall back. The sex, the money, the feelings. Anything & everything to an extent that they’ll ignore all sound advice just to re-live the moments. I will not say that re-living moments is bad but damn, sometimes moments are not worth re-living especially if you have already moved on to a life where you have other people looking up to you & that, I am, talking about a family. Wife & your children.

They say that sometimes life brings back our exes just to see whether we’re still stupid. Well, not always are every one of our exes evil but usually, some things are better left buried where they lay.

Some guy raised his issue on social media. He said that he bumped into his ex-girlfriend of 10 years ago. They had had a good time at college & then after as she went abroad for further studies, he got married.
But as the devil will always want to pull tricks on us, they met again along the walks of life, & she is not married yet, looks hotter & they’ve agreed to go for a date. Ting*
Meanwhile, in the space of 10 years, this guy has not only got a wife but kids too & now he’s here tripping that feelings for the first cut have crept up again & now he’s in a state of romantic dilemma.

So this is where I get to ask whether this isn’t lust? I mean you already have a wife & kids & yet here you’re feeling attracted to someone else whose looks you’re already drooling at. That may not be the main problem because naturally, it happens but going ahead to even propose a date? That’s where the devil even dances the more. They say that feelings for anything attractive physically is not love but lust. It makes your hormones boil & you feel restless down there to an extent that you want to get immediately intimate with that person & very so often, once you get in between the sheets then all this ‘magic’ disappears. I don’t even know to where either.

The reason this qualifies to being called lust is because more so often, it is temporary & never has it been worth it at any one bit. It’s never been worth giving away a whole family which deserves the best from you including forgetting your past & moving on as they had done nothing to deserve this sexual promiscuity.

One of the biggest problems lust presents to a family is that the one in lust will start bringing up non issues where they weren’t in the first place. They’ll jump at the slightest err & blow it out of proportion because now they’ve been blinded by the new catch. If bae doesn’t call that day they’ll think he/she’s cheating, they’ll start to think that maybe the sex at home is boring, they’ll blame bae for irrelevant marital issues amongst others all because they’re thinking that now they’ve struck gold. And just like Eve’s encounter with the serpent, they will be manipulated with what looks like the greener pastures so they’ll drop their bird in the hand for what seems like two in the bush only to realize at a latter point in time that damn, they were duped.

What really makes it so hard to instead of spending on this old alien, you take your wife for a treat, be it shopping, a holiday, a dinner date or crazy, romantic hangout instead of frolicking with this woman who’s got nothing to lose (Because it’s you that will be spending on her & she has no relationship or family to lose at her end) while you on the other hand have everything to lose & for how long is it going to be hidden because definitely you’re going to find yourself in situations where you’re going to be creeping around, looking over your shoulder hiding texts, making hideous calls et al?

He even mentioned that he’s been with his wife faithfully through the marital ups & downs for ten years. What kind of currency would he be paying her & their three children that would love to be in a united home?

10 replies »

  1. interesting read but do you know that you can mbe married to someone you arent inlove with? Maybe that guy is still in love with his ex and is in a relationship with another and a family out of last that built a friendship they both cant just throw away. Also i think its possible to love more than one person it aint necessarily lust

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  2. Interesting read. My argument is that if you are so in love with your current partner then even if the lust does arise for an old flame – that should get suppressed soon without succumbing to it. If you’re not in love and not happy – then you will find every reason to succumb to these temporary feelings as a way to get out. It’s more like it becomes an excuse for you to get out of being unhappy. A really happy person will not feel such things for long and forget about it.

    MagicandBliss | https://magicandbliss.com/

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    • Thank you for reading.

      Well, that’s a good thought but unfortunately, some peolple fail to move on with life after failed relationships to an extent that just one brush with an old flame makes them go weak.

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  3. True. Lust is so strong that if I finds a weak spirit it wrecks havoc. It makes people forget about the true fundamentals of love.

    I think just like that guy, some people hardly get over their ex’s & when they ‘meet’ things usually get ‘hot’. He’s never come back to share what happened later tho.

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  4. There’s a reason lust is considered one of the seven deadly sins. Some people feel it so deeply that they can barely control it. Crazy mind game lust plays on some people, but I think it’s crazy how the man you mentioned in this post agreed to go on a date with an ex from 10 years ago when he had a whole wife and family back home. At what point do people decide that lust is enough to overpower love? I hope that man’s poor wife doesn’t end up succumbing to his unfaithfulness. Thank you for sharing!

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