In a basic setting, prostitution is when someone offers sex for something else in return, usually money. Love & emotions are rarely involved. Some societies even call them escorts though the latter are more advanced & professional in the act.
We’ve been hit recently, by a social media debate about something that has been going on for a very long time in Uganda. The act of man sending a female he wishes to hang with money to facilitate her transport to where he wants to hang with her.
Usually, ending under the sheets. Unsurprisingly, many men are getting a hang of it with some arguing that it is high time, after all this hullabaloo of women emancipation that the ladies started as well to facilitate their transport to these meets. Complimented by the argument that since both parties end up having fun (usually sex) then they should as equally contribute to the act.
I followed the debate on the Facebook wall of a one staunch social media based anti-feminism activist called James Onen, who probably is the most Facebook reported person in Uganda. He simply brought forth the argument that why should we, (the men) who he baptized ‘the boy child’, keep providing transport fee so that a female can come over? I mean, man can even get sex for free from anywhere else. Damn. It’s like he’d thrown a stone into a beehive. His wall became a sort of Avengers Vs Thanos war chaos. People pulled war material against each other & out of the hundreds & probably thousands, below are some of the issues I managed to note were worth noting.
Some justifiers argued that you can’t just drag someone into your plans & expect them to use their own money which they had budgeted for other things & boy did I totally agree. I mean, look at it this way. You have been there slaying with your horn. You’ve probably put aside some things, already managed your program & probably also already secured your bag & now your horn is idle & wanna get busy. This lady on the other hand, might be out there running her projects. Trying to put her shit together. She’s running on a budget trying to make ends meet. So you this side with your horn, try to hijack her time with your fornication demons wanting her to drop everything else she’s doing so that she can come & add your horn on top of her other issues. FOR FREE?! You may argue that you’re both enjoying it (or so you think) but if you’re getting it for free, how is it going to add up on her shillings at the end of the day so that she can survive another week. The only thing she has added on is her name being written down on the fornication list in heaven & booked a place in hell for it.
One lady said that the problem with men is that we think that women are always idle or have time for men. she added on that; even if she’s lying on her back in her garden staring at the sky, that time is very precious to her & if one is to disrupt it for selfish reasons like needing her company, it’s only polite for him not to make the assumption that she must give up her time & also lose her (own money) doing it. Some of those invites are simply disruptive. So to her then transport fee becomes a necessary evil. But Someone generally replying to those that were arguing that men are simply wasting women’s time over these things said that, ‘‘If you think you’re wasting time going over to his then there’s no need to accept the transport either but if you think you’re not wasting time, then go to the guy’s place, transport refund or not. Is the transport issue a determinant of time value & usage?” That hit home.
Some brought forth the issue that only a woman who likes a man is one who won’t ask for transport refund because she is simply doing it out of love, mutual consent, fancy you name it. She’ll be eager to meet with him & smash if need is available but if a woman doesn’t like the man, she’ll ask for the transport because on top of disturbing her time to quench his horn, she hopes he’ll be discouraged by the money & opt out. But apaana, some men are diehards, dude will invest in. But of course, there was a counter argument. “If you don’t like the guy then you won’t see no need of going there but I guess in this case that doesn’t matter whether you’re Tom, Dick & Harry so long as you find the transport fee, that lady will be willing to join you where you are. Then ladies don’t cry when things go East because you’re already making it clear that you’re all about the money otherwise despite the availability of money, you still can turn down the invite.”
Some clashed on the issue about resources. One said that “The lady will cut out her time for you, take a bath, shave (probably), wear her nice perfume, put on that nice dress, shoes, make up & then USE HER MONEY to come over for you to just play sex with her & she goes back the same? No value added on. The mutual enjoyment of sex we keep talking about was watered down with the fact that a woman can easily get anyone to have sex with if she liked. Nothing really makes us special” & boy did that sink in. She was right but trust my guys with not dying in their own movie so shots were fired back. One said that if he buys the eats you may enjoy, the movies, puts on electricity for you to enjoy the electronic gadgets you may find there including charging your phone & then you want him to top it up with transport after giving you a great fuck? How?
That then brings me back to the starting line; is a girl taking a guy’s transport money a form of prostitution because if we’re going with the description of prostitution, he’s literary paying for it.
One said “The boy child needs to understand this. Most girls you call to come “see” you don’t really love you. They just want something in return for sex. If a girl really loves you she won’t bother you with transport money.”
One made up a conversation to brighten up the prostitution argument;
“Actually that’s not how it started. Here, I’ll jog your memories before you females manipulate history.
ME: Hey, are you free?
HER: Yeah, why?
ME: I was wondering if you & I could…
HER: I’d very much want to, but I’m kinda broke.
Now, the conversation from here branched two ways.
GUY: Don’t worry, let the guy bring you, I’ll pay from here. (Ask any boda guy. Chicks saying “Money is where I’m going” is so mainstream)
GUY: How much do you need? (In this case scenario, before girls started making sex commercial, the response involved a decent conversation about the actual transport fares.)
One said, “What the girls on Onen’s posts are arguing about is something new. It’s a tip men have to pay for being sexually satisfied. Like a more glorified sex fee you pay to a prostitute.”
I’ll close the cited arguments with this one who said; “Lately, girls are bold. I personally know a couple who will point blank tell you they want dick, without even blinking. Those girls too are here furiously debating transport, like babe. My dick was here minding its own business and YOU snapped it out of its bed rest. If we want to commercialize sex, pay the guys you call for dick too.”
Conclusively I’d say that with all due respect, I think it’s us the guys who benefit from all this & thus whether it is your woman or not, transport money is necessary though it’s up to the girl to decline it or not on the grounds that she really likes you or not. Though there are those that are bold enough to finance themselves & boy do those ones deserve a special seat in heaven otherwise asking for transport money to make plans of going to chill with a guy & later smash is somewhere in the corridors of prostitution unless if your definition of prostitution is different.