At the moment when the relationship was taking off, she left to study abroad. Her course was to take four years but in the middle of it, she promised she will be coming back for holidays and that was mainly to see him. For the meantime, the internet was to be their major channel of communication. International calls were costly. The years rolled on and with every moment she said of how she would be flying in during the next holiday until it became an over played song that everything just faded out and they agreed to disagree and the relationship had to be called off. Mutually.
A long distance relationship is like the world’s end. It’s one of the hardest moments a couple can ever face. A lot can happen like how seasons change, how the weather in the tropics can change at any a time.
The imagination of one spending a good number of days and worst, months or years without physical contact with bae is always saddening. A lot of issues come up like mistrusts, temptations, unproductive thoughts etc.
However, all this can be dealt with in a number of simple ways like:
- Trust – You must have trust in your partner that they can’t sell you out. This trust must be two ways to be effective. They too must trust you. Before the parting happens, both of you must sit down and talk thoroughly about it. You must understand why it is happening and when it is to end. You must draw all the best ways you will communicate. You must put yourselves into it mentally before it goes physical. You must build that trust very well and then dive right into it. You must also prepare yourselves not to break this trust.
- Communication – Communication is key to ensure stability, relevancy and trust and it must be constant. As a couple, you must design an effective communication schedule. This’s because you may be in different time zones or your schedules may not be in line that is if you are in the same time zone so you must set a schedule that favors both. You must always be eager for it, talk of how your day went, be receptive to questions & the like. Utilize all possible communication channels like Facebook, calls, texts, WhatsApp, Skype, anything so as to get the maximum communication experience. When communication is thoroughly utilized, you will both feel like you’re apart together and it will build a strong bond and eliminate a big chunk of loneliness.
- Don’t do crazy habits that could only work when you’re close together like staying silent for long as this may make the other think otherwise. Remember that in this moment, tension, suspicion & such are always high so endeavor to be transparent, considerate & hopeful. Try to be as open as possible because you do not know what the other is dealing with. What if there is someone who has got their eyes on your partner where they are and just one weak chink in the relationship, they would easily slide in to fill the void. You just do not know how the universe works my dear. Do not leave anything to chance. Be there. You can try to find things you can do together apart like sharing photos, music, pick given topics to talk about or discuss about especially those concerning your lives or in line with what the other is doing where they are. You can help you partner with research work or presenting ideas on assignments they are working on. Be there, be supportive and be open.
- Always look forward to the day you’ll meet again. Have a motive. Give your partner something to look forward to when they return so that they keep focused. This will hype up the relationship & when the two of you meet again, utilize it to the max. Go out, meet friends. Laugh and love. The church, the beach, the cinema, night walks. Anything. Do all the crazy things you would have done when you were together. Make use of the little time so that you do not regret nothing and this will as well lead to more anxiety for the next meet.
- Most importantly, never forget to put God in it.
Championing a long distance relationship will be one sure way to show whether you two are truly committed to each other. It helps bring out the strength in you. If you can mean what you are already meaning, then distance will only remain just a word. For if you give your hearts to purity, treasure it with immunity against all other love breaking impurities like distance, then you can love yourselves till eternity. Hopefully.
Thanks for reading, stay loving.