breaking

Dear June…

It’s been 3 months since tragedy struck. You’re now the fourth month since I confirmed the lose of my love aces.

Since I loved this girl so deeply, but despite it all she still kept tabs on her ex while she gave me kisses. It’s messed up my senses. I am depressed, I admit it. I most times feel useless. Hopeless.

But what would you do if someone shows you this kinda way? When I thought that love was all bliss for close to 3 years & now at the time to champion our cause I was instead shown arses.

I am tired of this fucking feeling, how do I lose it? How do others move on so quick? I also want to do it. Why am I still caught up in the bullshit? I am sure she’s doing fine where she is. How can I get that happiness too?

Fuck love, I am left cursing. What else to do when I don’t feel like even loving others too. I fear the broken heart so much, I fear risking again. These girls ain’t loyal, I fear being played again. I still got the pain fresh in my heart, deep in my soul. I see it in my dreams when I close my eyes & still live through it during the day when I have them open. I feel like suicide sometimes, the monster in me that was created. I feel terrible, like a failure. I fear loving again, how do I even start?

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