There’s a time I shared an article about how important it is for people to make their own decisions. The freedom it came with. The level of Independence & power it wielded & oh boy did people feel elevated. It clearly showed what people want. The ability to make their own rules & stand on their own & in personal comfort zones. It is like no one wants to be told what to do. It is like everyone wants an own space where one can make and break their own rules. It is because people want to hear what they want to hear. They want to hear what sounds like music to their ears. People are hateful of criticism especially when it comes to issues where they want personal gain. Call it selfishness? Perhaps? People do not want to be pointed in a direction that seems contrary to what they do or may want even if they are doing something wrong or seemingly going off track. For as long as they’re feeling comfortable with it, no one else should tell them nothing. Example? Some people don’t want to be told to quit drinking or smoking for as long as they feel good in that moment, that’s all that matters. Your health & monetary concerns? Shove them up your…nose. Sorry! Can’t put my French here. If a brother is vibing a slay queen & she’s smiling, you can’t tell him it’s a trap. He feels it’s the moment. We all know the end results. Many times he may as well know it but at that moment, when he’s spending on her like a brother should & she’s seemingly digging his shit, he’ll feel the man. It’s until he’s six feet under financially & she no longer feels his vibes is when he’ll come back to life like Lazarus, realize what he’s been being warned about & begin another phase of complaining of how girls ain’t loyal these days. Dude, we warned you. Trying to warn someone of the dangers of some business ventures but because the salesman talked with a lot of color, they don’t see the fall ahead of them until the scheme runs off with their money. It’s like when you try to warn a sister about the dangers of the guy she’s dating at the moment but just because the guy is vibing right despite her seeing all the negatives, she’ll keep marching on & she’ll call all & sundry how hateful & unhappy for her they are. Love is a complicated feeling. It indeed is damn blind & because many are blinded by feelings that come from the heart, they fail to use reasoning to see through stuff & it is until they’re in too deep of the toxic relationship do they want to get out but then it’s too late & this births another world of situationships & living together not because of love but because of the mistakes they made that they have to live with.
All this coming from the fact that people fail to consult from others just because they feel they’re right, adults, fear the unknown, fear dependence & all that. It’s not a guarantee that everyone will give us the best advice because yeah, there are people that are totally whack when it comes to such but it actually helps you to hear what other people think of it. Some might’ve experienced it & what they went through might be vital to either saving you or breaking you.
That’s the reason why we have inspirational speakers & yet still at the same time, that’s the reason why many people do not like them. Because they usually talk us out of our comfort zones by pointing out our weaknesses & mistakes. Breaking down the blind that had covered our peaceful ignorance. Imagine someone talking all the negative characters of a kind of person you’re dating or of the toxicity that is in the relationship you’re in at that moment. Things you already know or have an idea about but because you read somewhere that love ignores the past and looks at the present, you fail to use reasoning but instead dig a six feet, four cornered hole in the ground & lay there.
What we as people have failed to know is that a point in our lives we need someone who will not talk nicely to us. Who won’t sugarcoat the words they speak to us. Someone who will talk shit about our comfort zone till our hearts & minds can’t stand them no more. A person who will tell us the dangers of spending past our income, about the dangers of impulse spending, who’ll tell us to get out & look for work. A person that’ll tell us that the relationship we’re getting into or already is a titanic. It ain’t gonna take us nowhere. A sinking ship. Not afraid of whether you’ll kick them out of your life for talking the naked truth about us because they will not be making much of a loss out of it but instead it will be on you. Your loss.
We have so many friends who like ass-kissing us (sorry, my French is back) that they will never tell us what mistakes we may be doing onto our lives just because they do not want to lose the friendship. Those usually may be good friends but at an extent are not helping at all. I had a friend who I tried to put on the right path of life but because he had some money, the friends who met him often usually had an upper hand on him & never reminded him to always go for classes, to save some money, to stop drinking & until he drank himself out of school, they abandoned him & continued with their lives & now he is in the sorriest state I’ve ever seen him in. No education degree, a father of two from two different mothers, always having a drunk gaze on him & it makes me feel like it is one of the biggest fails I’ve had.
Of the friends we side with. Those that usually sugarcoat our shit. We need people around us who will analyze the situation we are in & tell us whether we should do a U-turn on that past relationship, failing business or not. There is always a sign not to miss when more people are up against some of our moves than those in support. There is always that sign we should never ignore. We should always put our brains to it. There must be a reason especially if such a situation involves love. There is always something to look out for. It is at that moment that we must put aside the emotions & memories & use the brains. And ask ourselves, why is there so much negative energy about this?
It’s not that I am saying for one to seek & trust in their own judgment is wrong but what I am trying to show you is that usually our brains will pick up decisions that do not challenge us. Decisions that keep us in our comfort zones & even when we notice some dangers that may come up with it, the brain will look for some excuse to keep us going there & it’s until we are way in too deep of the shit do we realize what a grave mistake we made and we only have ourselves to blame for it as we would be too shy & embarrassed to share with anyone else so we end up burying ourselves in our own filthy misery until we are cut off from the world & then we start swearing and calling people haters, how people forget others easily & how they’re so much full of themselves. How it’s too peopley outside & how bad the government is yet we are the ones who cut ourselves off of the world. Off our potential rescuers.
Therefore one thing to note is that in this world, no man was created to stand alone. Very many times we need people like that. People who will help us open our eyes in some moments. It is not that they don’t like what’s best for us but because they have seen us in our happiest moments & in our lowest, they now have an idea & wishes of what best suits us. Of what best for us actually looks like.