Let me tell you something. I am feeling blue. Sad. I feel beaten, broken. I am crying inside of me. The tears. I am bleeding inside but wearing a face. Pretending to be fine. It’s tiresome. If it is all for an Oscar, I don’t want it.
I feel shattered & scared. I feel exposed & robbed. Shaken. I am not doing fine. How could I play that part? Every time I am alone, I feel cold. Disappointed. I feel hopeless & useless. The sluggish pain.
I don’t know if you understand. I wish you could. I feel love & it is pain. All at the same time. I love you. But I am trying to settle the trust issues. I am fighting demons. I love you. I want to. I need you. I want you. Away from me. The confusion.
But can you feel it? Can you understand? Can you feel it? Or you’re doing fine? Blissful. You’re at peace? Settled. But why not? For when it’s you that caused it. I love you. Truly? I did. But did you respect that? Oh. You love me too… plus one other. And both of us deeply.
I am sad. Tears. Thinking that maybe outside you didn’t see it. Maybe it was all useless. Futile. All for nothing. Be mine. Love me again. Faithfully. Truly. Don’t. Leave. Me. Broken.