A Fling. What Makes It Happen?


fling (1)

“For example you Stella” said the man of God as he pointed at one of his members in the congregation. His sermons are usually powerful. The congregation always sits attentively listening to every word this charismatic preacher has to say. They nod where they feel the point is valid and there is always an occasional amen from the people when it is just too powerful to just nod your head or hum in affirmative. “Your man may be somewhere out there and he sees a beautiful girl by the road side.” He continued. “And as a normal person, we are all human in here, may be tempted to say or think up something.” “It is normal I am telling you. But what sets him apart from the rest of the world out there is that he will tell himself to hold it and do nothing about it. He will just look, think up what to do to this female but then before he could act, the spirit in him will tell him to play it cool and move on. He has a wife at home. He is filled with the spirit that gives him conviction.” Then the church immediately breaks into a mighty shout of hallelujah. The women especially.

I remembered that sermon this morning as I was walking along the cold streets of my city Kampala. A slight drizzle beating down on my face as darker clouds of nimbus were forming over ahead. I then, by the road side, dressed in a short maroon dress, saw this girl. She was corporate.  Man, I wanted to try my skills on her. Just like it is to slide into a dm. But then, by the powers that rest in the Holy Spirit that resides in those that accepted Christ as their personal Savior, I was filled with a conviction that that was not the right thing to do. It told me that “Derrick, you have a beautiful woman at home who loves you way much more than anyone else ever did. Maybe not more than your mother ever did but yeah, her love for you is somewhere up there in the stars.’’

And this brought me to think of this interesting topic. What makes flings to be such strong, interesting events to occur in people’s lives? What makes them seem to be so good yet people know they are bad? Why do people keep engaging in them despite their wrongness? For those of you who are still trying to get answers, here are a few reasons which may actually end up being compounded into one as to why;

A fling is a casual relationship kind of situation where the participants are less more inclined to not including feelings getting in the way. One thing we should know is that a fling lasts a short time. Usually. If it exceeds that then you can call it an affair though still it is not far from it. It is not there not to last long. It is not meant to generate into something major. It is just supposed to be sex and life moves on but there is something that happens in between that complicates things and this is the shortness that comes with it.

You see, just like a family where the kid is always guarded and tightly supervised by its parents, so are relationships. Ok, some relationships unless if it boarders between being a real one and an open one. Back to the kid, when this kid finally gets a moment to go out and engage with the world, they will use that moment to the maximum. They will want to explore and eat and taste and run around. Excited with everything they set their sights and hands on. It is because they know very well that once that moment is over, they will have to go back to their boring, same old routine. They know that the moment to play again is going to take another time to happen. So what happens is that they get instant crazy and usually, end up making the wrong moves or choices. All because they wanted to maximize the moment. Now let us relate it back to the tabled topic. Flings.

Once people in different relationships feel the hots for another person outside their relationship, they will know very well that what is happening or yet to is very wrong but still then, they will want to experience the feelings and moments that come with breaking rules and protocol. The joy that comes with getting away with crime. Everyone wants to feel like a smooth criminal one time in their lives. Doing something wrong and getting away with it clean. So this is what happens, they want to feel that feeling that they can get stuff out there and still maintain their perfect image of a good partner.

So, they will try to get into contact with the other person and if that works out, then there will be the urge to keep it going. After all, they have managed to get past stage one unnoticed. Adrenaline. The next stage is flirting. They will text and call and do all sorts of things to keep communicating. And if the communication is kept constant, where the communication is usually short and to the point. Because they know that they do not want to bring commitment into the picture. Besides, what is a fling with commitment? Anyway, they will arrange for a meet, a date, a dinner. Anything and in case this happens, they will be left with only one other thing, sex. A fling works in literary the same way a normal relationship starts but for it, its sole purpose for happening is mainly to have sex. And this is where it really gets to captivating people. The sex.

Sex done under a fling is always good sex.  It is great sex I must say because both parties are trying to maximize on the small time they have together. They each want to give their best sex. They each want to go down in the books of the other as the best sex machine the other person has ever had all because they know that it will be over any day any time.

So how worth will it be to end something when there was no work done? Wasting resources and all. So it justifies the great sex. Sex where you are both maximizing the fullness of the other is what makes flings quite an event to happen.

A fling can be avoided, usually by a person’s own conviction but however still, it depends on how people treat their relationships. Do not let it go boring and cold. Try to keep the fire burning like it was when you first met because the end results may be tear inducing.

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